


Stuffed

by Lady_Iwaizumi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Character Development, Chronic Pain, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Eating, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family fun, Fights, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Funny, Homosexuality, Lies, Light Angst, M/M, OWWWW, Sexual Humor, Sibling Rivalry, Spilling, THANKSGIVING CLAPBACKS, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner, Thanksgiving Puns, Truth, Wrestling, hehe, nut taps, snakes and cats, sooo many clapbacks, they already knew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-03 09:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Iwaizumi/pseuds/Lady_Iwaizumi
Summary: “Don’t blame grandpa for your sexuality!” Koutarou shouted at his cousin while reaching for the gravy bowl.“Bokuto—shut.up.”“You shut up!”“You shut up first!”“Why are you always so mean?!”“Why are you always on your knees?!”~~~College roomies Suguru and Kuroo agreed to attend each other’s family Thanksgivings to prove that they haven’t turned into socially reclusive druggies; their two days of expected family drama and awkwardness turns out to be jam packed with clapbacks, wrestling matches, sexy relatives, coming outs and romance.Thanksgiving clapbacks, Haikyuu style





	1. The Suguru’s

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy my first Suguru x Kuroo fic, and remember these are friendly CLAP BACKS NOT REAL INSULTS. Chill!  
> I hate to have to give a warning but if you don’t like this type of humor, don’t read, and please don’t spoil it for everyone else!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not THanksgiving yet, but deal with it

**_Thanksgiving #1: The Suguru’s_ **

**_November 23 rd_ **

 

“Why pick _me_ of all people to come with you?” Kuroo whined, adjusting his dorky red sweater so it didn’t itch his neck so much. The snake of all evils himself stood next to Tetsurou with his chest out proudly, looking much fancier than Kuroo with his dark green sweater, connected at the neck by two buttons that accented the fabric nicely, doing severe work on his thin, bendy (mildly attractive) waistline. Meanwhile, Kuroo looked like Thanksgiving gagged on a dick and threw up on his itchy red bulky sweater and crème colored dress pants with a gravy stain on the right knee from last Thanksgiving. He looked like every trashy roommate who tagged along for holidays, and Tetsurou hated it.

“My family bothers me about socializing and getting to know other people,” Daishou snapped back, irritation already at a high. They hadn’t even gone inside with all his _relatives_ , and yet, he was already worked-up. “Since I refuse to meddle with disgusting humans at Frat parties and various other social events, it’s only customary that I bring the tenth best option outside of a significant other—my roommate.”

“But Suguru—we _hate_ each other!”

“Shut up!”

“See?!”

“If you don’t cooperate, I won’t come with you to your family tomorrow!”

Kuroo groaned in annoyance as Suguru checked over their appearance one last time, ignoring how the other slapped his hand away when he tried fixing the black mess atop his head. Their arrangement for Thanksgiving was meant to be simple: go as each other’s friendly roommates to give the illusion of friendship in order for their families to not badger them about making friends and having great experiences while attending college. So far, Kuroo was regretting ever making a deal with the devil, as it was plainly obvious based on Suguru’s posture and stiffness that this Thanksgiving was going to be packed full of polite responses, carefully worded compliments and impressive amounts of wealth. None of which Kuroo possessed. What was Thanksgiving without a couple friendly insults here or there? Tetsurou also didn’t know what subjects to avoid—Daishou hadn’t given him any other information about what was to come, who would all be there and who wouldn’t, who was dead, who was estranged…it would have been nice to get a heads-up so Kuroo wouldn’t accidentally insult the urn sitting on top of the fireplace or something…

“I’ll introduce you once everyone is seated,” Suguru whispered while ringing the doorbell. “Don’t speak unless they address you personally, don’t kiss ass, and don’t even _think_ about flirting with my mom. Got it, scrub?”

“Bite me.”

“My teeth are sharp enough.”

“My claws will tear them out of your disgusting little snake gums.”

“I’ll poison you with venom first.”

“I’m immune to certa—”

The front door was ripped open before Kuroo could continue their argument or mentally prepare himself for what was to come. All his defense mechanisms were thrown out the window as whoever opened the door cried out to Suguru.

“DAISHOU!!!”

For a long moment, Tetsurou thought they were at the wrong house; there was no way this happy, loud-voiced woman was related to his stuffy roommate in any way, right? A short blonde-haired lady with breasts the size of Jupiter pulled Suguru into a warm hug, barely able to reach his shoulders at her height; her dirty orange apron did nothing to hide those outstanding chest features, and Kuroo was admittedly a bit jealous that Daishou got to feel them chest to chest. She had a punk rocker vibe going for her, added to by her various earrings and cat-like makeup as she stepped back, looking over her oldest son cheerfully.

“You’re looking as handsome as ever! I’m glad your style wasn’t like mine when I was in college,” The woman winked. “You’d be pregnant by now!”

“ _Mom_ …” Suguru whined, though he had a strange smile on his face Tetsurou had never ever seen before.

“This must be Kuroo,” She smirked suddenly, going to hug her son’s roommate. Blush immediately overwhelmed an unsuspecting Kuroo, who had to kneel down a bit in order to return the hug as her breasts pressed against his lower chest. “I’m Saeko, Daishou’s mom! It’s so nice to have a fit, handsome athlete to entertain our eyes for the evening.”

Forget _Kuroo_ flirting with his mom—she would do that all by herself. The volleyball star couldn’t even form a response other than an embarrassed smile as Saeko motioned them inside wildly.

“Come, come! Everyone is waiting for you!”

Suguru looked as if he was about to whisper something to Kuroo, but didn’t get the chance. Saeko dragged them into the living room without letting them take their shoes off at the door, quickly talking about how her and her sister-in-law were trying to finish the stuffing in the kitchen and that Suguru would have to introduce everyone himself. Tetsurou tried to get a grip on the situation by looking more presentable, but upon being thrust into a large, cozy dining room with his arch enemy, his usual pride and playful attitude diminished. As expected, the group of people scattered between the table and the couch were intimidating at first glance—for a second, Kuroo feared the only person capable of conversation was Saeko, who had hurried into the kitchen after giving Suguru one last cheek kiss, but after the relatives realized who had arrived, the air suddenly became very cheerful. Eyes widened, mouths opened with happiness, and another blonde girl who looked very similar to Saeko looked as if she would pass-out.

 _They’re happy to see…Suguru?_ Kuroo frowned _. That’s kinda weird._

“Oniichan!” The blonde girl squeaked, standing up from the table so fast her chair flew backwards, though the frightening boy with narrowed eyes beside her prevented it from crashing into the wall. She was probably around five or six years old, orange outfit complete with adorable black cat leggings and a cat eared headband, allowing Kuroo to notice how different her facial features were from her so-called brother. Instead of sharp angles and evil narrowness, the little girl had round cheeks, gentle curves connecting each feature and precious brown eyes, kind of like a puppy.

“Hey, Yachi.” Suguru greeted, voice shockingly affectionate. “Don’t I get a hug?”

Yachi anxiously sprinted across the room, short, skinny legs carrying her all the way to Suguru, who shocked Kuroo further by hugging the tiny creature happily as the rest of the family watched.

“I-I missed you!” She said when they pulled away, big brown eyes full of concern.

“I missed you, too, Yachi. This is Kuroo, my roommate,” Daishou said, narrowing his eyes at Kuroo, as if daring him to make fun of his little sister’s outfit. “This is Yachi.”

“Nice to meet you, Yachi-chan.”

“Y-Yeah, n-nice to meet you!” The blonde bowed over dramatically while still holding onto Suguru’s hands. “Welcome to our home!”

“Thanks. Your outfit is _adorable_ —cats are my favorite animal.”

“O-Oh,” Yachi blushed deeply, ducking her head to fiddle at the orange and black skirt. Tetsurou wanted to screech with excitement when he noticed it had a black tail attached to the back. “T-Thank you very m—I mean—I—I like kittens, too!”

Kuroo chuckled warmly at her nervousness as Suguru brushed past her to greet the rest of the family, ruffling up the short blonde hair of the hard-shelled boy who had been sitting next to Yachi. His attitude said middle teens, though he was probably around nine or ten years old—Tetsurou wouldn’t _dare_ touch him as playfully his roommate had. What if he bit like Suguru? (No sexual pun intended.)

“Kyotani—how are you?”

The dog grumbled something under his breath and picked at the horrible teal sweater he wore, shooting a dark look at Kuroo when he saw him watching. _Definitely a mad dog. He and Yachi can’t be related, right?_

“Glad to see you haven’t changed,” Suguru huffed. His posture changed drastically when he turned to the next person sitting at the head of the table; Yachi and the irritable Kyotani were certainly the even mix of their parents, blonde hair and all, though Kuroo suspected Suguru’s step-father (or maybe Saeko was the step-parent…) sent down most of his grumpy genes to Kyotani. The man was fairly tall and in pretty good shape, not dressed-up like the rest of the family members, but instead wearing a comfy red track suit and a few earrings like Saeko, complete with a lazy, bored expression on his face. His blonde hair was held back by a headband, expression unchanging as the aura in the room shifted to one of awkwardness when Suguru stood at his side. Kuroo put the pieces together pretty quickly, though he was still confused about who was related to who.

“Ukai,” Daishou nodded in greeting, shaking the blonde man’s hand firmly. Ukai was definitely the step-parent in the family, based on that gesture. “How are you?”

“Irritated, but what’s new?” The man named Ukai shrugged. “How’s college life treatin ya?”

“It’s not bad.”

“Good, good…staying busy with class I hope?”

“Pretty busy.”

“Good.”

After two forced smiles, Suguru turned away, greeting his other relatives as everyone hurried to fix the odd atmosphere before Kuroo noticed. Yachi was still nervously standing beside their guest, unsure what to do, but after an encouraging gesture from Ukai, she peered up and hesitantly tugged on Tetsurou’s ugly sweater.

“I—I’m gunna sit down!” She announced. “You—You can come too, if you want, Kuroo-san!”

“Okay! Show me the way, kitty cat.”

Yachi blushed even deeper and led Kuroo over to the table, where he was, unfortunately, seated next to Kyotani, who scooted his chair away immediately, which got him a smack on the head from Ukai. Yachi jumped onto her father’s lap and hid her face in his shirt shyly; Suguru’s guest took a moment to scan the other faces at the table, landing on a particularly hostile one with similar features to Ukai, those intimidating dark eyes happening to be staring right at him suspiciously when Suguru sat down to Tetsurou’s left.

“Hey,” The older man started gruffly. “Aren’t you that male model who was in a scandal for sleeping with the mayor’s wife?”

“You’re mistaken, Grandpa.” Suguru sighed. He thought the accusation over and leaned right to whisper at Kuroo. “…You didn’t sleep with the mayor’s wife, _right_?”

“Ew, no.”

“Shocking.”

“You think I sleep around?”

“I _know_ you don’t, judging on your collection of Girls Generation posters—”

“You two seem to get along well,” Ukai interrupted with a raised eyebrow. “You’ve been roommates since May, right?”

“…Yup.” Suguru nodded, making Kuroo send him a strange look. Surely he hadn’t lied about how much they hated each other—that’s what families were for, right? Listening to you complain about how terrible your college roommates are? “Kuroo’s majoring in physics and is on my volleyball team.”

“ _Our_ volleyball team,” Tetsurou corrected with a smile. Suguru bit his lip to keep from smarting off.

“Right. _Our_ volleyball team...”

The mention of volleyball was apparently a happy one with this family, as Ukai and his parents began talking about the good old days when Ikkei coached the Karasuno team; Daishou took the moment of distraction to officially introduce the family, keeping his voice low as if he didn’t want to be caught speaking to the guest.

“Yachi is six, Kyotani is ten,” The snake explained quickly, nodding to his younger siblings. “That’s Keishin Ukai and his grandparents. He’s married to my mom, Saeko—seriously, do _not_ flirt with her, or I’ll have to kill you.”

“I won’t, I won’t! …But I can’t guarantee she won’t flirt with _me_.”

“You shitty bastard!”

“Hey now, no swearing in front of the children, Suguru-chan~”

“ _Anyway_ …my mom’s brother is Tanaka, he’s with the kids somewhere…he’s married to Kiyoko—don’t flirt with her, either—they have the twins Nishinoya and Ennoshita, and their youngest is Tobio. Terushima is my other uncle, the guy with a tongue ring, his older brother is Kamasaki; he’s married to Moniwa, and they have Koganegawa.” The slick haired student motioned over to the couple sitting on the couch. “The kids are all downstairs, I think.”

“Could you repeat all of that again, please?” Kuroo asked, scratching his head in confusion.

“No. Now shut-up and don’t bring attention to yourself.”

“I’m just so excited you’re here, Daishou!” Saeko interrupted, coming up behind her son and capturing him in another hug. “Come help me in the kitchen quickly, would you? Kiyoko and I need another hand.”

“Okay,” Suguru agreed, standing up and following after his (hot) mom. His slitted dark eyes narrowed further, silently threatening Kuroo with some horrible roommate prank if he did anything embarrassing. Upon him exiting the living room, Tetsurou was left in a difficult situation—Yachi seemed to be the only person friendly enough to speak with him, albeit nervously, the remainder of the family members checking him out cautiously. A blonde haired, slick looking guy who resembled Suguru the most came shuffling into the room coolly, a smirk immediately coming to his lips when he caught sight of Kuroo. The college student gulped as the man greeted him by slapping his shoulder and plopping down in the empty seat to his left.

“So the Calvary has arrived!” He announced, bringing everyone’s attention to the scene. “Terushima Yuuji, at your service,” The blonde man winked. Something set him apart from the rest of Suguru’s relatives; he had a different attitude, a different aura Kuroo almost thought resembled sadness, despite his perky greeting. “You must be the infamous Kuroo Tetsurou, huh?”

“So Suguru _has_ spoken of me,” The black-haired man chuckled, returning to his usual self.

“You have _no_ idea, Kuroo-chan” Terushima cackled mysteriously. “Honestly, I thought he would come home engaged, but I guess he likes taking things slow, huh?”

“UNCLE TERUSHIMA!” A squeaky voice called up the stairs as Kuroo repeated what Yuuji just said over and over. “The wrestling championship is starting! Come on, Daddy’s ready!!!”

“Ready to get his royal butt kicked by your _amazing_ uncle Terushima?!”

The blonde ran off again, leaving their guest in a state of utter confusion; Kyotani hadn’t caught what Terushima hinted at (seriously, though, why the hell did he mention Suguru getting _engaged_?), but he figured Kuroo was confused at their family dynamics, and in a state of anger over Tetsurou’s lack of understanding, he decided to elaborate.

“My dad is Daishou’s step-dad,” The grumpy ten-year-old hissed, startling Kuroo. “Uncle Terushima and uncle Kamasaki are Kenji’s brothers—Kenji was oniichan’s _real_ dad, but he’s not here.”

“Oh…I see,” Kuroo coughed, putting the pieces together. “Um…so…Saeko-san isn’t married to Daishou’s dad anymore?”

“Of course not, _idiot_ ,” Kyotani grumbled, scowling up at the college student as if he could kick the crap out of him. Dogs really don’t like cats. “Kenji died when Daishou was a kid, _then_ she married my dad. We’re only his _half_ siblings.”

 _Well that could have been explained with a little less bitterness_ , the uncomfortable young man thought, shifting in his seat as Kyotani turned away to pick at his sweater more. _Suguru’s real father is dead, huh? Weird…I don’t remember him ever mentioning that. Then again, why would he? We can’t get along unless something is in it for the both of us. That’s still sad, though; no wonder he has daddy issues with Ukai._

“Where’s Ryu?”

A magically emotionless voice coming from the hallway attracted Kuroo’s upmost attention, and for good reason: who he assumed was the other woman of the house Suguru demanded he not flirt with, Kiyoko, was standing at the entrance. And boy was she a looker. Tetsurou was torn between wondering how Daishou got so lucky as to have two stunningly beautiful women in his family and wondering how those two could pull off dirty aprons so well. If he didn’t know any better, Kuroo would say that’s a new kink of his. Kiyoko listened to the response (that Kuroo didn’t hear a word of) and nodded her head, blue eyes quickly flickering to Tetsurou’s, making his heart go into arrythmia. The conversation with Terushima and Kyotani was entirely forgotten.

“Dinner is almost ready.” Kiyoko announced before hurrying back into the kitchen gracefully. Kuroo forced his mouth to shut when Suguru entered the room again, being swept into conversation by his uncle Kamasaki, who rose from the couch to greet him.

“Suguru, how you been?”

“Fine; how are things your way?”

“I would complain, but Moniwa says it’s bad for my health,” Kamasaki frowned, nodding to his significant other.

“It _is_ bad for your health!” The darker haired man claimed.

“Where’s Koga—”

“NUT TAP!”

_Thud!_

Kuroo could only cringe violently when a yellow and black-haired child came sprinting past Daishou and essentially broke his man parts by striking them with a heavy firetruck toy, smashing the object _hard_ against the sensitive area between Suguru’s thighs. It was, unfortunately, a direct hit. The entire room oooed with agony as Suguru sunk to the carpet, eyes watering and mouth hung open with pain as he struggled not to scream; even Tetsurou felt bad for the poor bastard, almost going so far as to run over there and see if he was alright. Obviously he _wasn’t_ okay, maybe would _never_ be okay, but it was the thought that counted, right?

“Put the fire out, Suguru-chan!” The large child Koganegawa demanded, standing over the poor aching college student as he cradled his parts gently. “Pshehewwwww!”

“Who’s teaching you these things?!” Kamasaki yelled, snatching his son up and immediately scolding him.

“Uncle Tanaka!”

“That little—”

Thundering footsteps rushed up the stairs, sounding similar to a storm of cattle as Kuroo stared in shock, watching as three more children sprinted into their living room area, hardly noticing Daishou as they jumped over his lifeless body, screaming to their heart’s content. They were sweaty, loud, destructive little monsters, by the looks of it, and the family decided to stand by until their energy went down a level before intervening; the smallest boy had spikey brown hair and no shirt on, the tallest boy had previously neat black hair and sleepy eyes, and the pouty looking boy seemed like the most ferocious, large midnight blue eyes wide with competitive spirit as he chased after his brothers. Their circle run ended by the short one stopping quickly, causing the other two to run into him.

“Hey, it’s cousin Daishou!” He screeched. “DOGGY PILE!!!”

“N-No, please—”

Suguru’s cry went unheard as the boys all piled onto his body, laughing and giving him half hugs and ignoring his groans of pain. Kuroo was enjoying himself greatly until the blue-eyed kid noticed him sitting at the table, smile immediately vanishing off his lips; he whispered something to the tallest brother, who then nudged the smallest brother until they were all staring. The crazy-haired brother decided Suguru was no fun and ran over to Tetsurou, shirtless and all.

“Are you Daishou’s?” He asked curiously, cocking his sweaty head to the side.

“I’m his roommate from school,” Kuroo elaborated. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Yuu Nishinoya Tanaka! Those are my brothers over there.”

Nishinoya motioned for them to come over, leaving Suguru room to breathe as he tried recovering from their vicious attack.

“This is my twin, Ennoshita!”

“Wait— _you_ two are twins? I thought it would’ve been Ennoshita and this little guy, since they have the same color hair.”

“That’s what everyone says,” Ennoshita shrugged, pushing his hair to the side.

“This one is Tobio, he’s the youngest!”

“It’s nice to meet you guys. I’m Kuroo.”

“We know!” Nishinoya nodded. “Daishou-chan talks about you a _lot_.”

“Does he now?” Tetsurou smirked, glancing over them to peek at the man close to weeping on the carpet. “Thanks for sharing that information, Nishinoya.”

“No problem!”

Saeko broke the party up by entering and taking her apron off, shocking Kuroo further by revealing her curvy waistline and crop top.

“Alright, everyone get washed—um…Suguru?” She questioned, spotting her eldest by her feet. “Why are you on the floor?”

“Koganegawa… _sneak attack_ ,” Her son groaned, grabbing onto the couch as he attempted to stand.

“Ahh, I see. Anyway, everyone get washed-up, Kiyoko and I will be bringing the food out soon!”

Just as Suguru managed to collect himself and stand, the last addition to their party came stumbling up the stairs, a toned baldish man almost as sweaty as the boys running around. Behind him was a defeated Terushima, mumbling something about cheating while they stood at the living room entrance.

“Well!” Tanaka sighed loudly. “That was fun!”

“What did you break this time?” Kamasaki asked, wrestling the firetruck away from his son.

“Nothing too valuable.”

“Balls are pretty vulnerable, right, Daishou?” Ikkei snickered, getting a swat from his wife.

“Don’t say that in front of the kids!”

The bald man spotted Kuroo as his children went running past to the bathroom, shirts finally back over their torsos; he nodded at their guest in questioning before locating Suguru beside him, still recovering from Koganegawa’s friendly nut tap.

“Suguru, buddy, how you been?!

“Fine, Tanaka-san…”

“You look pretty beat-up; what happened? Kyotani bite you again?”

“Look who he brought with,” Terushima commented, nudging Tanaka’s arm. “ _Kuroo Tetsurou_.”

“Hey, you’re on the volleyball team, aren’t you?!”

“Yes sir.”

“I remember those days,” Tanaka thought fondly as most of the adults made their way to the table. “Good times. I’ve been teaching the boys how to play and they’re _totally_ obsessed. Kiyoko even refs our practice games in the back yard!”

“She’s a good woman,” Ukai agreed, setting Yachi down on the floor so she could take her seat next to Kyotani. “We don’t allow anyone into our family if they don’t love volleyball.”

Everyone agreed, and Suguru would have too if he wasn’t so focused on getting to his chair without being attacked again; Kuroo smirked at him as he painfully sat down, nursing his special area as the ache slowly started to fade, though he figured the damage had already been done.

“Why don’t you man-up and get yourself a good woman, Daishou?!” Terushima teased, playfully hitting his leg as to cause him more pain.

“Is that what your ex-girlfriend did?” Suguru hissed back.

Tanaka oooed at that roast, the first of the night; this prompted the conversation to turn to last year’s Thanksgiving, during which apparently Terushima’s then-girlfriend hadn’t made a good impression on their family.

“She wasn’t a woman, she was a _witch_.” Ikkei Ukai huffed from his spot.

“She could be pretty evil,” Yuuji agreed.

“Don’t bring home a girl for thanksgiving _ever again_.” Tanaka warned. “Her four kids were freaky, too!”

“She wouldn’t have gone all witchy on you guys if you hadn’t roasted her so much.”

“She set herself up!” Kiyoko’s husband insisted as everyone took their seats. “She asked Suguru if he ‘had a new boyfriend yet’, so I had to stand up for him and say ‘your kids know who their dads are yet?’ It was for our _family pride_! Who cares if Suguru hasn’t had a boyfriend until now?”

“…What?” Daishou questioned, finally looking up.

“You’re still gay, right? Haven’t switched teams on us?” Terushima asked genuinely as the rest of the family waited for an answer.

Kuroo was holding in his laughter so much it was making his stomach ache. Suguru was _gay_?! It wasn’t exactly a plot twist (look at how he acted around male models such as Kuroo), but Tetsurou just couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Apparently, neither could Daishou.

“If he has, you owe me five-hundred yen!” Tanaka claimed.

“What are you all talking about?!” His nephew asked stressfully, eyes bulging out. Kamasaki interrupted their coded conversation by speaking plainly.

“We’re talking about you bringing your _boyfriend_ home for Thanksgiving.”

 

Kuroo stopped laughing immediately. Ukai choked on his whiskey, and Suguru’s mouth fell open.

 

“B— _Boyfriend_?! _BOYFRIEND_?!” Daishou shouted. He stood up from the table violently and pointed accusingly at Kuroo, whose face had turned bright red. “He’s not my _boyfriend_ , he’s my _roommate_!!!!!!”

“…Really?” Moniwa giggled, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. “We just thought that was your way of being in denial.”

“No I’m not in deni—I mean—I’m not—who said I was _gay_ in the first place?!”

“We thought you knew!” Tanaka cackled.

“I’m—I didn’t—I never—”

“Kuroo,” Terushima addressed, giving the other a panic attack. “Surely you know; you’re telling me this guy hasn’t sent off some gay vibes during his college days? Not even a little bit?”

“Uhhh…I…d-don’t…”

“We are _not_. _dating_!” Daishou proclaimed with a fierce shout, cheeks burning from humiliation. “We’re just _roommates_! You’ve all been begging me to bring him over sometime, so that’s what I did, and now you think we’re _gay_ together?!!! We don’t even _like_ each other!!!”

“I’ll bet,” Kyotani mumbled.

“Chill, Daishou!” Tanaka laughed lightly. “It’s all good! We won’t judge you if you’re having bisexual thoughts—”

“Shut _up_!!!”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Ukai hushed gruffly, seeing that Yachi was becoming nervous over the argument. “The food’s ready—let’s all sit down and eat.”

Suguru had fumes exiting from his ears as the little boys all came running back in, ready to feast on the food Kiyoko and Saeko were now bringing out; Daishou’s mom looked concerned over his current stance, so Kuroo tugged him back down, only for the other to jerk his arm away when they were seated. The family distracted their guest by admiring the huge turkey and ham Saeko brought out and set in the middle of the table, along with various types of corn, sweet potatoes, beans, mashed potatoes, delicious looking buns and stuffing; there were also many Japanese additions as well, like meat buns, salmon, tofu, etc. etc.

“Thanks for the food!” Tanaka and his family shouted over everyone before digging in.

Ikkei Ukai brought out a couple bottles of aged sake, pouring glasses for the adults and for Kuroo and Suguru, the latter who accepted it eagerly and began guzzling. Saeko gave him a worried expression as the family began dishing food onto their plates.

“You don’t drink a lot at college, do you, Daishou?” She asked, eyebrow raising. “I didn’t drink when _I_ was in college.”

“Can’t drink when you’re pregnant,” Ryu snickered over his bite.

Terushima high-fived his in law as Saeko rolled her eyes and gave a laugh of her own. The atmosphere lost most of its hostility (though Suguru himself was still hiding his angry face behind the sake glass), everyone digging into the delicious meal as several conversations started around Kuroo, who tried listening in hopes of getting more blackmail information on Daishou.

“I heard the volleyball team is pretty good this year.”

“Kiyoko-san, this stuffing is incredible!”

“Suguru, are you getting your homework in on time?”

“You payin those _bills_ on time?!” Nishinoya yelled.

“Hey, where’d you learn to talk like that?!” Tanaka asked while tickling his sides.

“From yo mama!” Ennoshita giggled in response.

“Chikara, not you too!”

“I wonder where they got _those_ manners from.” Yuuji snorted under his breath.

“I wonder where your child support check is,” Kamasaki mumbled.

“You’re asking for it, buddy!”

“For the love of all things, please stop,” Suguru sighed, mostly to himself, prompting his mother to start a different conversation.

“So, Kuroo!” She began, setting her glass down and looking over at him. “Tell us about yourself—you’re majoring in physics, right? What kind of job are you hoping to get with that degree?”

“I’m aiming to be an astrophysicist,” Tetsurou nodded politely. “I’ve always wanted to write a book on my theories and observations for the subject.”

“Cool! I’ll admit, though, I don’t know a damn thing about physics…”

“No one does but physicists themselves,” Suguru mumbled.

“How much do they usually make a year?” Ukai wondered.

“You kids are so concerned about money,” His grandfather grumbled, kicking his grandson under the table.

“Well, when you’re first starting out you don’t make a whole lot, but the good ones can make over one-hundred thousand a year.”

“Are you looking to be a sugar daddy anytime in your future?” Terushima joked. “I think Suguru here might be interested in—”

“You have five-seconds to run, Uncle Yuuji.”

“Kidding, kidding! Jeez, aren’t college kids supposed to be able to take a joke?”

“Aren’t middle-aged bachelor’s supposed to be able to pay their rent?” Tanaka roasted again.

“I _do_ pay my rent, baldie!”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Nishinoya chanted, even getting Kyotani to pound the table in rhythm.

“No fighting on Thanksgiving.” Kiyoko told her son. Yuu finally shut his mouth began digging into his dinner.

Kuroo found that he liked Suguru’s family more than he liked Suguru. They were pretty entertaining, despite their cruel jokes and vicious nut-taps; still, Tetsurou couldn’t deny that he felt the lack of connection between Daishou and the Ukai family. He seemed to get along well enough with Yachi and Kyotani, but whenever he spoke to Keishin, his grandfather or grandmother, his dark slitted eyes would flicker to one of uncomfortability and uncertainty, like he didn’t know if he should really be speaking to them. Ukai had been his step-dad since he was young, right? Shouldn’t they have been past the awkwardness by now? Kuroo had no experience in such a category, so he had no right to judge the situation, but their attitudes seemed odd. He guessed part of the struggling emotions came from the fact that Suguru’s real father _died_ —it wasn’t just a messy divorce that caused a rift between Daishou and Ukai.

“Hey Yuuji, wanna play Trivia Crack when we’re done?”

“Heck yeah! There’s no _way_ you can beat me at that.”

“You kids rely on technology too much,” Ikkei grumbled at them.

“I’ll remember that when you’re on life support.” His grandson replied coolly. It got him a kick in the chest, but everyone else got a good laugh.

“Kuroo-san,” Tobio addressed seriously as his mother cut-up his turkey. “What position do you play in volleyball?”

“I’m the middle blocker,” Tetsurou answered, wondering why the pouty child frowned at his response. “Daishou-chan and I usually play right next to each other in the rotation.”

“Are you any good?” Kamasaki questioned.

“He’s okay,” Suguru shrugged. That was more a compliment than Kuroo expected. “You average a couple blocks a game, don’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“When _I_ play for real, I’m gunna be the _libero_!” Nishinoya announced happily.

The entire table erupted with various volleyball stories and memories, which Kuroo was genuinely interested in, sharing a few stories of his own as Suguru remained quiet beside him; the food tasted amazing, lacking the poison and poise the black-haired student expected, but overall, he was very pleased with how the night was going. After peering around the room (pleasantly stuffed with various gravy mixtures and meat), Kuroo realized he was right about Suguru being somewhat wealthy—the furniture and décor were fancy, intricate designs stunning him with their beauty, and he now noticed the line of pictures on the fireplace in the living room, littered with a timeline of events told through photographs. He couldn’t see them up-close, but he knew the man in the first two pictures wasn’t Ukai, and assumed it to be the famous Kenji, Suguru’s father. Darkness fell outside the home, candles were lit and conversation quieted (for the most part) as everyone sat back and rubbed their full stomachs.

“Isn’t that your third plate?” Kiyoko asked her husband as he filled his plate one final time.

“Aren’t I your third husband?”

The beauty’s face was neutral in expression as she smacked her husband on the back of his bald head, prompting laughter from everyone else.

“I’ll be having a fourth one soon enough.”

“Kiyoko, I was just _kidding_ , babe!”

“Daishou,” His mother asked suddenly, giving him a stern look across the table. “Do I dare ask if you have any tattoos that we should know about? I would know, of course—tattoos are a lifetime commitment.”

“But your marriage isn’t,” Tanaka snorted from behind his cup. Kiyoko slapped his head again as Saeko stuck her tongue out at her brother.

“I don’t have any tattoos, Mom.” Suguru answered honestly.

“Good! You’re the best example in the family—let’s hope you don’t turn into a smoker like yo—Ukai, or a self-employed bachelor like your uncle Terushima.”

“Or a bum like my daddy!” Koganegawa said innocently. Kamasaki could only shake his head as Moniwa tried not to laugh.

“I’m not a _bum_ , Koganegawa,” His dad replied, wiping the toddler’s mouth. “I’m a stay at home dad. There’s a _huge_ difference.”

“Is everyone done eating? I’ll leave the sake out—Suguru, dear, would you help collect plates?”

“I’ll help, too,” Kuroo offered, standing with his roommate to help grab the empty plates on the table. Yachi blushed when Tetsurou grabbed hers, prompting him to tap her nose playfully as she giggled shyly. Kyotani almost took a chunk out of his arm, but the boys managed to grab most of the plates and carefully bring them to the kitchen. Kuroo offered to wash dishes, but Saeko told him they were making Terushima and Tanaka do that work; while everyone else was recovering in the living room, Tetsurou excused himself to go find a bathroom.

The left portion of the house was quiet compared to the right, seemingly abandoned aside from the bathroom and a closet where the fine China sat. Suguru had disappeared a while ago, so Kuroo took this time alone to think about what all had taken place tonight as he went to the bathroom; _firstly, I don’t know why he was so worried about ME being the inappropriate one_ , Tetsurou thought with a smirk. _His family is just about as crazy as mine. Saeko is really great, and really hot…the Ukai’s are pretty chill, but also intense at the same time. Tanaka and his family are very energetic, equally as entertaining as balls butcherer Koganegawa. Terushima is definitely something else—he and Kamasaki aren’t very alike, though._

_I wonder who Suguru’s father was more like._

Kuroo felt strangely troubled by this thought as he washed his hands and exited the bathroom, amusement triggered when he caught sight of a wall of pictures leading to an office. The dim lighting provided enough where he could see every little detail of Suguru’s snake-like childhood, beginning with a nasty picture of a pink, narrow-eyed baby newly born at the hospital. The collage of pictures included many of Saeko and Daishou on his first days of school, at his volleyball games during middle school, some of them chilling on the couch watching cartoons, their hair complete messes…

_Ah…there he is._

Kuroo’s smile faded when his eyes finally locked on a photograph of Suguru and his father. Daishou couldn’t have been older than two in the picture, his handsome, tall father holding him tightly against his chest as the little snake baby’s fangs showed through his laugh; Kenji had the same hair as his son, styled in a similar fashion but a lighter russet color. He looked strong, broad shouldered, the body of an athlete, perhaps—and baby Suguru looked happier than Tetsurou had ever seen before. Who knew his cheeks could stretch that far?

“What are you doing in here, Daishou-chan?”

The college student hurriedly pressed himself against the wall when he heard Yachi’s voice speak to his roommate inside the office a few feet away, door not shut all the way as Suguru’s youngest step-sibling closed it behind her. Kuroo meant to brush past their spot without being seen or heard, but their current conversation topic made him stop and eavesdrop, and while he was sure his roommate would kill him if he was discovered, the black-haired man remained where he was, carefully craning his head to peek inside the door crack. Suguru was standing at a fireplace in an office of sorts, but he turned and smiled when Yachi entered, motioning her over to a desk where they sat down—Yachi didn’t seem to be as scared of sitting on her brother’s lap as Kuroo would have been, willingly and tearlessly letting him wrap his arms around her before sitting down on a fancy chair behind the desk. Yachi followed her brother’s eyes back to the fireplace, where his gaze was locked on a framed photo of he and Kenji; by the looks of things, it must have been one of the final pictures he took with his real father, as Daishou was older in that one than any of the ones Kuroo saw. The pair were quiet for a few seconds before Yachi started playing with Suguru’s long fingers, voice loud compared to the silence of the office.

“You really miss your daddy, huh, Daishou-chan?” She asked.

“Yeah…but that’s okay,” Suguru sighed sadly. Kuroo had never heard him try to mask his unhappiness before—usually he let his roommate knew _exactly_ why he hated him, but it looked like he was making an attempt to drown his sorrows, now. “I still have my mom, you guys and Ukai.”

“But it’s different, right?” Yachi questioned. “…Nishinoya-chan says it’s a different kind of love when a person dies and their girlfriend marries someone else.”

“Mm…it is a little different, I suppose…but love is love, right, Yachi?”

“Right! And…And you love Kyotani-chan and I, even though we don’t have the same daddy as you, right?”

“Of course.”

“T-Thank you very much!”

Suguru let out a warm laugh while gently setting Yachi back on the ground, standing from his spot with a wistful smile on those snake-like lips that seemed a little less snake-like at the moment.

“Come on,” He said in a hushed voice. “Let’s get back to the party.”

It didn’t occur to Kuroo he had better get the hell out of there until Daishou and Yachi got half-way across the room, after which he decided to just duck back into the bathroom. He listened through the door and waited for the footsteps to cease, releasing a deep breath when he exited—

Only for Suguru to be standing right in front of him.

“Why are you creeping around here?” Daishou asked with a narrowed scowl, arms crossed.

“Trying to find Narnia—do you mind?”

_Play it cool, play it cool._

“Sure you weren’t trying to get some blackmail to hang over me?”

“It’s Thanksgiving,” Tetsurou scoffed, brushing past the other student. “I wouldn’t stoop that low.”

“Shocking.”

Suguru and Kuroo walked beside each other silently, attitudes hushed despite their hostile words; the middle blocker wanted to ask about Kenji, what happened to him, how old Daishou was when he died, how Saeko reacted to being a single mother, but…for once, Tetsurou didn’t want to hurt his roommate’s feelings. He didn’t want to bring up a sensitive subject that would make Suguru cry later on. He didn’t want to make him feel bad or recall painful memories. And so, Kuroo remained quiet as they sat down on the floor of the living room where the family had settled with their drinks and children for a talk. Terushima had really mellowed out after dinner, silently sipping at his sake and mindlessly staring at nothing while everyone else began conversations around him.

“I really don’t know where you learned to cook like that, Saeko.” Tanaka groaned, motioning for Kiyoko to rub his stomach, which she surprisingly achieved after lightly hitting his gut with a fist.

“I learned some things after feeding your picky butt over the years.”

“I wasn’t picky, you just couldn’t cook worth a damn back then! You forced me to read my Thanksgiving homework every year before we could sit down and enjoy our meal—it was so embarrassing I lost my appetite!”

“That reminds me!” Saeko said happily, looking over at her middle child. “Kyotani—do you want to read us your Thanksgiving poem? The one you wrote during school?”

Kyotani grunted in agreement, snatching his turkey-shaped paper from a nearby table and standing up before his family with a scowl; Kuroo couldn’t believe he actually agreed to these terms. Suguru covered his face in preparation for the awkwardness to come, though his roommate didn’t dare do the same upon seeing Kyotani’s dark eyes glare at every single person in the room, as if daring them to start teasing him. When he finished silently threatening everyone, the blonde cleared his throat and began reading.

“Stuffed,” The blonde growled. “By Kyotani Kentarou Ukai.”

Nishinoya hid his snicker carefully.

“Fat Turks, little Turks, giant Turks everywhere, better say your evening prayer. Turk will hunt you on the holiday, Turk will find your family and you, especially with that hairdo, even if you’re 42.”

Ukai choked on his wine as his son looked up from the paper, eyes directed right at him, making Terushima let out a loud cackle.

“Turk for everybody, Turk for your family, but you won’t find any ham-ley. Eat the Turks, eat till you’re stuffed, binge until your gut is puffed,” Kyotani continued seriously. “Turk is the main ingredient, but not for ingrates who are disobedient. Stuff your grandmother, stuff your grandfather, but whatever you do, the Turk you shall not bother. Those who do will find out soon, will be stuffed with a harpoon, will be stabbed with a turkey fork, for the Turk is not salt pork, and he will eat all if you don’t devour him first.”

Kuroo’s mouth was hanging open as Kyotani looked up for dramatic affect.

“The end.”

“That was— _great_ , Kyotani!” Saeko cheered with a painful smile, nudging her husband’s leg. He was still trying to recover from the Jew mention. “Very…um… _descriptive_!”

Terushima and Tanaka clapped slowly, but avoided eye contact with the suddenly ten-times more frightening little boy who nodded in approval at his praise. Yachi had turned a bit pale as she stared at her brother with horrified eyes, and Suguru looked as if he was having a bloody nightmare; Kyotani set the paper down and returned to his seat, making anyone he walked past flinch with fear. Instead of an awkward silence, they were left with a bubble of anxiety, wondering if whoever spoke next would be cursed for all eternity after that promising image of the Thanksgiving “Turk” hunting down those who tried avoiding him on his holiday.

“So…” Ukai coughed, trying to diffuse the tension. “What are the sleeping arrangements for tonight, Saeko?”

“I think Kiyoko said they were sleeping downstairs…Terushima offered to sleep on the couch out here, Kamasaki and Moniwa are sleeping in the guest room, the children are sleeping in the living room downstairs—Ikkei, you guys are sleeping in our room, right?”

“Keishin won in arm-wrestling, so we’re sleeping on the pullout in the second living room.” Suguru’s grandfather grumbled, at which his grandson smirked.

“Great—Daishou, dear, where did you and Kuroo want to sleep?”

“Are we really sure putting them together is such a great idea?” Tanaka teased cautiously. “I mean, we’re totally pro-gay in this family, but I’m not itching to be kept up by the bed rattling all ni—”

“Oh shut up, Ryu,” Saeko rolled her eyes as Suguru and his roommate’s cheeks burned. “I’m sure if they _are_ dating—”

“We are _not_.”

“They would know better than to try anything when we’re down the hall. So—you two will sleep in Kyotani’s room, yeah?”

“Where’s he sleeping?”

“In Yachi’s room.”

Yachi clapped her hands excitedly and beamed at her older brother, whose expression had darkened at the idea of sleeping in a bright pink room. If Kuroo didn’t know any better, he’d say Kyotani himself was the inspiration behind the _“Turk”_ of his poem.

“Fine,” Suguru answered through gritted teeth. “Is the air mattress still in the closet?”

“Ooooohhhhh Kuroo got rejecteeeeedddd!” Tanaka howled. Terushima’s lips finally flickered upwards in a light smile. “You can sleep with Yuuji if you want, Kuroo-chan; Suguru’s a kicker, anyway.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Fight fight fight fight!” Nishinoya egged on.

“Looks like we’re losing Tobio,” Terushima commented, nodding towards the black-haired boy who was slowly falling asleep on his mother’s arm.

“Well they’ve been playing and running around all day long—I’d be tired, too.” Ukai mumbled. “They didn’t have any sugar during supper, did they?”

“Only a little.”

Kiyoko carefully lifted Tobio into her arms, motioning for Tanaka to snatch their other children and get them ready for bed; Koganegawa’s parents followed suit, Suguru flinching when the large yellow-haired child walked past him; Yachi and Kyotani were ushered away by Ukai, who quickly laid a kiss on his wife’s lips when he walked by. Daishou’s expression didn’t change at this sweet gesture, but he seemed silently pleased at Saeko’s happiness. With only a few adults left in the room, Kuroo wasn’t sure what conversation to start next; Terushima was looking closer to tears every passing moment, and it seemed Suguru had noticed as well, though his concerned gaze didn’t process in his uncle’s mind.

“So nice to have everyone together again,” Saeko sighed, ruffling her eldest son’s hair up. “Isn’t it nice to be home, Daishou?”

“Mhm…”

“Yuuji-chan—how are things over in Johzenji?”

“Fine,” The blonde shrugged, staring into his drink. “Business is booming…paperwork to be done…the usual.”

“Has Kamasaki been helping you run the place?”

“He and Kamasaki inherited a restaurant from my other grandpa,” Suguru explained in a whisper. “They took over after my dad passed away.”

“A bit, yeah,” Terushima nodded. “…There’s this cute waitress we just hired a few weeks back. I might convince her to go out with me one of these days.”

“I’m sure if you show her your normal obnoxious self, she’ll fall in love with you in no time.”

The skinny blonde almost smiled at that, taking another large guzzle of his dark red wine before ending that short conversation and glancing back out the living room window; Saeko shifted in her seat, hurriedly trying to come up with another subject that would interest her ex-brother in law. Just when Kuroo started yawning, Suguru stood up to stretch and announce they were going to bed.

“Well…we better get to sleep, Kuroo. We gotta leave early tomorrow morning,” He sighed.

“Right.”

“Will the wedding be next summer or next winter, Daishou?” Terushima smirked.

“Same day as yours—call me when that happens in twenty-years or so.”

Kuroo stood up beside his roommate awkwardly, not sure how to bid the remaining family members goodnight; Saeko jumped up and pulled both of them into a tight hug, forcing Tetsurou to remember last time when her breasts were pressed-up against his chest—

“Thank you so much for coming today, Kuroo-kun!” Suguru’s mom said happily. “We hope you had a good time with our crazy little family.”

“Of course. Thanks for letting me tag along.”

“No problem!”

Kuroo felt all the heat rush to his cheeks when Saeko laid a kiss right on his cheek, much to the horror of her first born son, whose jaw dropped open again.

“Come visit us anytime, and if Daishou gives you trouble, let me know right away and I’ll kick his ass all the way to China, alright?”

“Mom!”

“Make sure you say goodbye to your brother and sister,” Saeko said seriously, hugging Suguru again. “Your vacation from school lasts about a week, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll be back after I go with Kuroo to his family’s Thanksgiving tomorrow.”

“ _Gay_ …” Suguru’s grandfather mumbled to himself.

“Good, good. I’ll be up in the morning to see you two off.”

“You don’t have to do that, Mom.”

“Who says I’m going to sleep, anyway?” She laughed, cocking an eyebrow as they pulled apart. “When Keishin drinks wine, he comes to bed feeling a litt—”

“ _I don’t need to know that, Mom!!!_ ”

Daishou forced that image from his mind and went to hug his grandparents, receiving a rough head ruffling session from Ikkei when he tried pulling out of the bone crushing hug; he then strolled over to where his uncle Terushima had risen from the couch, having finished off his full wine glass a second before. Kuroo watched as their hug lasted a bit longer, their embrace tighter than any of the others as Terushima spoke to his nephew rather gently.

“Great seeing you, Daishou. Don’t be a stranger, alright? Drop by the restaurant sometime.”

“I’ll see you in a few days, Uncle Yuuji. Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah,” Terushima smiled weakly. “See you, kid.”

The rest of the family caught Suguru for a goodbye as the pair made their way to Kyotani’s room in another part of the large house, and Kuroo changed into his pajamas for the night while Daishou was off saying goodnight to Yachi and his little brother. Honestly, Tetsurou was a little afraid to be in Kyotani’s room and ended-up feeling pretty shocked by all the Blackpink posters and CD’s scattered around the teal-colored bedroom of the frightening ten-year-old. Someone had already pumped the air mattress up and obnoxiously placed it so close to the small bed it would be easy to reach down and hold hands or some other gay romantic stunt…Suguru returned just as his roommate was squirming around on the air mattress trying to find a good position.

“What are you doing?” Daishou asked with narrowed eyes as he flung off his sweater, tossing it by his bag.

“Trying to—find—a non-bouncy spot,” Kuroo grunted, tossing and turning on the trampoline-like bed.

“I meant what are you doing on the air mattress? That’s where I’m sleeping.”

“…Oh. Really?”

“Yeah. Now get out of my spot, perv.”

Kuroo happily launched himself off the low mattress and sprawled out on the small bed above, just getting comfy under the puppy themed covers when he realized what Suguru was trying to pull.

“Hey! If you think you’re gunna sleep down there and be free of the Turk’s wrath, you’ve got another thing coming, buddy.” Tetsurou snapped, pointing accusingly as Daishou rolled his eyes and climbed onto the air mattress.

“The Turk isn’t real, dumbass.”

“But your evil little brother who _created_ the Turk is.”

“He’s not evil—he’s just hard to get along with,” The snake shrugged, leaning up to turn the lamp off. “Go to sleep, would ya? We have to get up early tomorrow, and I don’t want to leave late because you couldn’t get your lazy ass out of the Turk’s bed.”

“Fine,” Kuroo mumbled. “…But if I get eaten and stuffed with a turkey fork, it’ll be on your conscious.”

“How will I ever go on?”

Silence overcame the room as both boys entered a thoughtful mood, reflecting on what had taken place over the course of the evening at Suguru’s residence; Kuroo was honestly surprised by all the laughs he had, how different Daishou’s family was compared to him…he wondered what his roommate had been like before the death of Kenji, his real father. Was he talkative, like Terushima? Would he have been kinder to Kuroo, and not such of a manipulative asshole during volleyball? Did Saeko feel like she betrayed Suguru by marrying Ukai? Tetsurou didn’t know, didn’t want to ask and risk ruining the entire night, though he wondered what exactly the person lying below him was thinking of during this period of reflection. The snake was lying on his back, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling aimlessly.

“Your family is nice,” Kuroo said quietly, breaking the silence and glancing down at Daishou.

The other boy didn’t blink, but Tetsurou knew he heard.

“…Thanks,” He replied after a moment. “You can ask, you know.”

“Ask what?” His roommate questioned innocently.

“What you’ve been wanting to ask all night, I’m sure.”

The middle-blocker may have enjoyed torturing his snakeish roommate, but he wasn’t _this_ cruel.

“That’s alright,” The black-haired boy shrugged under the covers. “I’m content with not knowing.”

“It was a car accident,” Suguru answered anyway. “A few weeks after Thanksgiving Day. He was coming back from buying gifts for Christmas, and a truck was driving too fast in the snow—lost control and crushed my dad’s car against the guard rail.”

Kuroo wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He swallowed and nodding in understanding, figuring he might as well ask more questions now that Suguru had opened the painful conversation.

“Sorry to hear that.” He hummed gently. “Um…did he die instantly, then?”

“Almost. By the time they got him out of the car his heart had stopped.” His roommate explained, voice tense, but not hostile. “…My uncles haven’t been the same since. Especially Terushima, as you could probably tell.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?” Suguru asked, eyebrows raising.

“Have you been the same since?”

The moonlight peeking through the blinds shot a beam of light across Daishou’s collarbone, giving off enough glow where Kuroo could see his expression soften in remembrance. The air was silent for a minute as he thought about the truthful answer to that question.

“I guess not.”

They let this reply sink in before Kuroo prompted another conversation.

“Hey Suguru.”

“What?” Daishou sighed deeply.

“Thanks for bringing me today. It was fun.”

“Yeah,” He nodded slowly, as if he just realized how nicely the night had gone, aside from the balls crushing and clapbacks. “…It was pretty fun.”

“Well—we better get to sleep.” Kuroo said, burrowing into the warm mattress and closing his eyes. “Goodnight, snake boy.”

“Goodnight, scum.”

 

For the first time in many Thanksgiving nights, Suguru fell asleep peacefully, memories of his late father replaced by new memories of a particularly handsome roommate sleeping above him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how, but over the past few weeks I've become a TOTALLLLLLLLL SLUT for Suguru x Kuroo. Like, uncontrollably. I have several more fics planned for them. how did I end up like this?
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy! Stay tuned for Kuroo's crazy Thanksgiving nuptials…


	2. The Kuroo's

**_Thanksgiving #2: The Kuroo’s_ **

**_November 24 th_ **

Suguru and Tetsurou left early in the morning, bidding farewell to Saeko (who gave Kuroo her number with a winky face by her name) and going on their way to Nekoma, where Kuroo’s family was waiting for him on Thanksgiving Day. He warned Suguru beforehand that his family gatherings were always a little chaotic, as they had many clashing personalities from both sides of the family; his mention of a fistfight from last year greatly concerned Daishou, who decided to slip his pepperspray bottle into a pocket before they pulled up to a modest home in Nekoma where dozens of cars (including one large mini-van) were parked outside. Someone was already screaming inside, making Kuroo give a nervous smile to his roommate as they stepped out of their safe zone cautiously; Suguru was stopped once they made it halfway up the sidewalk leading to the front steps.

“Listen,” Tetsurou said, making weird hand motions while speaking. “Let me start by saying my family is nothing like yours. We don’t take turns talking, we can’t go a meal without spilling, there’s fighting and wrestling matches and gambling and just…total, utter chaos, but they mean well! I’m not being held responsible for any nut-taping incidents or broken noses, okay?”

“Like hell you aren’t!”

“No one escapes Thanksgiving without a few bumps and bruises,” Kuroo smiled. “Hopefully, that’ll be all we come out with, am I right?”

“Why didn’t you warn me beforehand?” Suguru hissed, following his roommate fearfully as they approached the door. “I could have worn my nut-cup and brought along my cosplay shield.”

“I thought you said you hated cosplay?”

“I _do_ hate cosplay, but—”

Kuroo shut Daishou up by knocking on the door loudly, prompting the other boy to stand up straighter and look presentable, though he held his hands near the groin area in case someone attacked right off the bat. For a long moment, no one responded to the knock on the door, and for some creepy reason, Tetsurou started laughing at himself.

“Why the hell did I knock?” He wondered out-loud, grabbing onto the handle. “No one knocks in our family!”

“Wait!” Suguru squeaked, grabbing onto Kuroo’s wrist before he could throw the door open. “Give me a rundown of your family members quickly, so I know what to expect.”

“The _entire_ _family_? You didn’t give me that advantage when we went to _your_ house!”

“I did eventually! Hurry, hurry!”

Kuroo sighed deeply, glancing around their setting to make sure none of the kids were watching before he listed his family members in order.

“Alright—Yaku is my mom. Don’t mention his height. He’s married to Lev, my obnoxiously airheaded dad who shouldn’t be as tall as he is. My younger siblings are Kenma and Shibayama—they’re fourteen and thirteen, but I wouldn’t bother Kenma too much, because he doesn’t like people interrupting his gaming.” The black-haired man explained. “My aunt Alisa is married to Aone, the blondies of the family, and their kids ar—”

“ _COUSIN KUROOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”_

Their conversation was interrupted by the screams of not one, not two, but _six_ young boys all under the age of eleven barreling around the corner of the house, heading directly towards where the college students were standing on the front cement steps. Lead by a small, fiery-haired boy up front, the tornado of energy sprinted towards Kuroo and latched on tightly, pushing Suguru to the side as the rowdy relatives greeted their favorite cousin happily, shouting simultaneously without a moment for breath. Daishou wished Kuroo had mentioned these kids first…

“Hey you guys, how are you?!” Kuroo laughed, though he looked in pain as the children climbed all over his body.

“Cousin Kuroo is back!!!”

“Come play with us, Kuroo-chan!”

“You _have_ to come see my new Turkey hat, Kuroo!”

“Wanna play cowboys and Indians with us?!”

“Slow down, slow down!” Tetsurou chided, pulling the kids off his limbs one by one. “Don’t you wanna meet my roommate first?”

“ _Roommate_?!” The orange haired child shouted again, looking around crazily. “Where is he?!”

All six kids finally noticed Suguru awkwardly standing to the side for the first time, blinking with fascination at the snake-like creature; Kuroo took the moment of silence to brush himself off and straighten-up again, putting his arm around his roommate for some weird-ass reason as he introduced him.

“This is Suguru Daishou,” Kuroo said.

“…Hi.” Daishou waved, feeling stupidly embarrassed as the children continued to stare blankly.

“Suguru, this here is Hinata, Yamaguchi and Inuoka.”

The orange-haired child grinned, nodding in approval as the one named Yamaguchi hid behind the tallest brother, Inuoka, for protection.

“They’re my uncle Suga’s kids, my dad’s brother. And these three hooligans are Kai’s kids, my mother’s brother; that’s Kinoshita, Narita and Teshiro.”

The final three kids seemed more polite than the other three, giving little waves and smiles as greetings, though their expressions turned mischievous as Hinata pulled their group into a secret circle, whispering something and giggling as Kuroo and Suguru stood there with fear. Tetsurou must have known they were planning some evil act, because he broke their party apart by opening the door and pulling Suguru along with him.

“Well, we’re gunna go visit with the family, okay kids? We’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”

Just as Daishou and his roommate stepped inside, the six children went barreling past them with loud screams of joy, sprinting all the way past the entryway and down to the basement without another word. Suguru covered his groin area protectively, not taking his hands away until he was sure that was all the kids he would see tonight; Kuroo released a deep sigh and shut the front door, a lazy smile on his lips.

“Good old family fun. Just wait until y—”

“Kuroo? Is that you?” A strained voice called from down the hall. In popped a short, crème-haired man wearing a dirty apron that had less stains on it than his face did. Suguru understood now, what Kuroo meant about nobody taking turns to speak.

“Hey Mom!” Kuroo kicked his shoes off without caring where they went, and as he embraced his mom and ruffled-up his hair, Suguru pouted to himself and tucked his dress shoes away in the cleanest corner he could find. “Believe it or not, I’ve missed you a lot!”

“Oh shut up, Kuroo.” Yaku rolled his eyes, hitting his eldest son on the arm. “Not all of us can be blessed with little responsibilities and—” Suguru tensed when he was noticed by Kuroo’s mom suddenly, those warm brown eyes peeking around Tetsurou’s broad shoulders. “… _Oh_! I almost forgot you were bringing…why don’t you introduce him?”

“Right…”

Daishou forced his expression to remain un-annoyed as Kuroo motioned him to come forward, putting an arm around his shoulder once again for unknown reasons that were becoming incredibly irritating.

“Mom, this is Suguru Daishou. Suguru, this is my mom, Yaku.”

“Very nice to meet you, Yaku-san.” Suguru bowed.

“Yes, very nice to meet you, Daishou!” The shorter man smiled, although the sparkle in his eyes was suspicious to Suguru. He brushed it off and gave him a small smile, allowing himself to be led into the kitchen, where a few other family members were hanging out; even in this isolated room Daishou could hear the kids screaming downstairs, the TV blasting in the living room, the gruff voices arguing about something on the couch…Kuroo wasn’t kidding about his family being loud. At least when Hinata came to nut-tap Suguru he would be able to hear his footsteps and have half a second to prepare for destruction.

“Look who finally showed-up!” Yaku cheered, gathering the attention of the family members in the kitchen.

“Ouch Dad, Mom’s making you cook the sweet potatoes again?” Kuroo laughed while approaching a very tall grey-haired man standing at the counter with a bowl of something mashed-up.

“Yes, even though he knows I _hate_ doing it!” The large man whined like a child.

“Life’s not fair, Lev.” Kuroo’s mom sighed deeply. “Keep stirring.”

“Hey, is that your—roommate?” Lev asked curiously, glancing over (more like down) at Suguru, who was hovering awkwardly in the doorway.

“Yeah, that’s Suguru.”

“Nice to meet you, Lev-san.” Daishou bowed again.

“Lev-san,” He repeated mystically. “I like the sounds of that! Yaku, do you think you could call m—”

“No. Now keep stirring.”

Lev let out a longer whine and continued stirring as Kuroo pulled Suguru along, weaving through the busy kitchen to greet his uncles Kai and Suga, who were preparing the kid’s table and attempting to make it spill-proof, which seemed like a lost cause considering who their kids were.

“Kuroo, long time no see!” Kai greeted, giving his nephew a hug as the one named Suga smiled.

“Nice to see you guys again—kids driving you crazy, yet?”

“Always, but since it’s a holiday they’re extra energetic,” Suga sighed, though he didn’t seem too irritated. On cue, Hinata and Yamaguchi came bustling through the kitchen waving fake swords around, nearing knocking Yaku over as he transferred a bowl of corn over to the counter. They shouted something about continuing their game outside, and Suga called after them angrily.

“Hinata, Yamaguchi! Stop going in and out of the house, please!”

“Stop going in and out of prison!” Hinata giggled down the hall, much to Suguru’s shock.

“Why oh why did I let Lev and Nekomata babysit them yesterday?” Suga rubbed his temples. “They kept showing them…oh, what are they called—Thanksgiving clap backs? Hinata doesn’t even know what they mean, and I’m afraid he’s going to seriously offend someone! This morning my Dad said to Inuoka, ‘shouldn’t you be outside with the other kids?’, and do you know what Inuoka said? ‘Shoudn’t you be _raising_ _yours_?!’ What kind of lunatic teaches that to a child?!”

“My husband and father,” Yaku grumbled to himself. “I don’t know how I managed to grow-up normal with Nekomata as one of my guardians.”

“It’s a mystery,” Kuroo chuckled, apparently thinking these inappropriate insults were humorous. “Where’s Bokuto at?”

“Downstairs in the game room,” Kai answered. “I think he and Asahi are playing pool.”

“Is… _he_ down there as well?”

Suguru became confused again at Kuroo’s silent reference to someone he apparently disliked. Kai grinned and nodded in confirmation, making Tetsurou’s lips go stern, his cat eyes go narrow; he motioned for Daishou to follow him through another hallway beside the living room entrance, leading them downstairs to a separate room from the children area where a bulky, owlish-haired boy around their age was playing pool with another tall cousin of Kuroo’s. The game stopped abruptly as the thicker cousin stopped Kuroo—his mouth dropped open immediately, and the pool stick fell from his hands seconds before he sprinted towards Tetsurou, Suguru barely having enough time to step out of the way when Kuroo was attacked by this large child. Their embrace was both violent and loving, and Daishou didn’t know Tetsurou was strong enough to hold whoever this guy was in his arms without dropping the poor bastard.

“BROOOOOO!!!!!”

“BRO!!!!!”

“Hahaha!!! Where the hell have you been?!”

“Around,” Kuroo laughed, setting down his cousin happily as they bro-hugged instead. “How’s college life been treatin ya?”

“Ahhh, forget about college for a second! How have you been?!”

“Not too bad, how bout yourself?”

As Suguru was totally stuck in the dark for the entirety of this unintelligent conversation, he was startled by the appearance of the long-haired cousin who had been quietly playing pool during the entire altercation. His timid, frightened eyes were most welcoming to Daishou, who already felt a headache coming on from all this noise.

“Hello,” He greeted somewhat shyly. “My name is Asahi—you’re Suguru, right?”

“Yeah,” Suguru nodded politely. “Kuroo’s roommate.”

“Oh. Right…”

For some reason what Daishou said made Asahi uncomfortable, causing him to turn away and join in on watching Kuroo and whoever the hell the other cousin was push each other around while still not answering any of the questions asked. After two-minutes of this, Suguru finally cleared his throat, bringing their attention to him.

“Well? Aren’t you going to introduce us so I’m not standing here like an idiot?”

“Haha—Bokuto, this is Daishou. You remember him from high school volleyball, don’t you?” Kuroo snickered.

The one named Bokuto got a sour expression on his face, and Suguru crossed his arms at the same time, though he did fear the size of the other’s biceps a bit.

“Oh yeah…I remember.” Bokuto scowled. “I’m Koutarou.”

“Nice to meet you, I guess.”

“…What’s with this guy?” The owlish man whispered to Kuroo, who shrugged.

“That’s Asahi behind you, by the way—these are my aunt Alisa’s boys. Asahi gets his height from Aone, too, not just Alisa’s side of the family, though Bokuto here is the only one with any resemblance.” Tetsurou explained as Asahi blushed. “They go to college on the south side of Tokyo.”

“You’re on Kuroo’s team, huh?” Koutarou asked, looking at Suguru up and down. “You still as much of a prick as you were in high school?”

“Yeah. Are you still as much of a basketcase as you were in high school?”

“Alright, you guys, let’s not fight!” Asahi interrupted nervously as Bokuto rolled a sleeve up. “Why don’t we finish our game of pool as Kuroo says hi to everyone?”

“…Whatever.” The grey-haired cousin mumbled, picking his pool stick up again. “I’ve got my eye on you, snake boy. You don’t deserve our precious Kuroo!”

“Um…okay,” Suguru replied in confusion, rolling his eyes. “Can we continue, Kuroo?”

“Yeah, sure. I guess we could g—”

 

A few large footsteps interrupted Kuroo, who immediately shut his mouth and turned that cat-like scowl on once more; the four of them all turned to see who had entered the basement, and apparently everyone but Suguru knew that it was none other than the cousin rival of all cousin rivals, Ushijima himself.

 

“Hello, Kuroo-kun.” That deep voice greeted as Daishou stood there, shocked. “When did you arrive?”

“Hi, Ushijima.” Tetsurou said with a fake smile. “About five-minutes ago. Where’s your little boyfriend at?”

“Tendou is upstairs. Thank you for asking.”

Bokuto snickered behind his palm as Asahi looked close to fainting. There was a strange intensity filling the air that Suguru didn’t quite understand; no way did Kuroo believe he could be a better cousin than _thee_ Ushijima, right? Why did he think he ever stood a chance? Daishou knew about him through all the volleyball magazines, how he was a prodigy trained by his grandfather Washijo, who in turn was the father of Lev, which made him Kuroo’s grandpa, too. Kuroo must not have had as much potential as Wakatoshi. Suguru realized this was probably the reason behind the flickering irritation between the two, though Ushijima didn’t seem to have a problem with Kuroo. Daishou felt his heartbeat increase when those bold golden eyes glanced over at him, suddenly, making him feel very on display.

“Is this him?” Ushijima asked lowly.

“Yes.” Kuroo answered proudly, making Suguru feel proud in return, though he didn’t know why. “This is Suguru Daishou. Suguru…this is Waka-chan, my cousin and the oldest son of Alisa’s family. Feel free to tease him at your will.”

“Please do not call me Waka-chan.”

“I _will_ call you Waka-chan, _Waka-chan_!”

“Let it begin,” Bokuto sighed, hitting one of the pool balls into a hole.

“Why would you challenge a relative that is so _obviously_ on a higher level than you?” Daishou whispered in amazement to Kuroo, who looked more offended than ever. “You could never beat him in anything!”

“Get wrecked!” Koutarou cackled, Asahi turning pale at this comment.

“How—How could you _say_ _that_ to me, Suguru?!” The black-haired student cried, turning with wide eyes towards his roommate. “Why would you say that?! Are you _trying_ to hurt my feelings to the point of no return?!”

Suguru was stunned at Kuroo’s emotions and found himself unable to respond; he really thought Tetsurou knew of his inferiority to Ushijima. He didn’t mean to hurt his feelings so severely, but…but it was just so obvious! Ushijima was a star volleyball player who played on the Japan National Team, and he apparently fought for gay rights by bringing home his boyfriend Tendou for Thanksgiving! How could Kuroo _ever_ beat that?

“I’m going back upstairs,” Wakatoshi said, turning around. “It was nice to meet you, Suguru-kun.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, Ushijima-san!”

“Shut _up_ , Daishou, _shut up_!!!”

“Why?!”

“Come on!” Kuroo snapped, grabbing onto Suguru’s wrist and dragging him along. “We’re going to meet the rest of my family and you’re going to say nice things about me!”

“Good luck, Suguru-chan!” Bokuto laughed cruelly, waving as Daishou was taken hostage. “Always a pleasure doing business with you, Kuroo!”

The snake and the cat made their way back upstairs, struggling all the way until they emerged into the living room where Washijo and Nekomata were sitting on the couch with a bright-haired, no eyebrowed man and an equally quiet dark-haired man who merely nodded towards Kuroo upon their entrance. Suguru stopped struggling after seeing Washijo’s horrifying eagle eyes glare at both of them.

“Grandpa, hey!” Tetsurou greeted, hurrying over to give Nekomata a hug. The tiny old man was amusing to Daishou, and he remembered his calm aura during volleyball games oh so long ago. “You’re looking more youthful than ever—I bet grandma gets pretty upset when all the ladies come after you, huh?”

“Haha! You’re absolutely right!” Nekomata grinned, immediately putting Suguru in a better mood. “Suguru, nice to see you again. Are you enjoying your college life so far?”

“Yes, I am, thank you, Nekomata-san.” He bowed. “How have you been?”

“Fine and dandy! Does my grandson here give you much trouble as a roommate?” He joked, kicking Kuroo in the leg.

“Sometimes, but I handle it accordingly.”

“Hey Grandpa Washijo,” Tetsurou greeted a little less enthusiastically. “How are you?”

“…Hmpf.” Washijo replied, that scowl still etched onto his features. “Fine, I suppose.”

 _Shortest conversation ever_ , Suguru thought when Kuroo walked past him to say hello to the silent men sitting on the other end of the couch.

“Aone, Shohei, how you been?”

The taller man nodded, and apparently this was an answer, because Kuroo kept talking.

“Good to hear. Do you happen to know where Uncle Taketora is?”

Shohei motioned upwards with his hand, and somehow his nephew was able to decode it.

“Ahh, rummaging through hidden Christmas presents again?” Tetsurou nodded. “Typical. I guess we’ll say hello later. Suguru—would you mind getting my phone from my jacket pocket in the entryway? I have to show my mom something.”

“…Okay…”

While the snake was confused at the oddly timed request, he silently obeyed, following Kuroo into the kitchen and breaking away into the hall, where he began his search through mounds and mounds of coats hanging on hooks. The first one he touched fell, resulting in six others falling, so with a curse under his breath, Suguru began rearranging and searching for Kuroo’s phone. While he was distracted with this, Tetsurou was talking with his parents in the kitchen; he enjoyed long talks with them after a few months of phone calls and quick text conversations, but today, there was a hidden agenda behind his reasoning. Yaku had known something was off from the moment his son arrived earlier this morning, but he was too distracted with the large meal to really brainstorm what kind of dramatic problem his eldest could be having—so, Morisuke stuck to the basic college questions.

“Has school been going okay, Tetsurou?” Yaku asked in concern. “You’re not struggling with anything?”

“No, Mom, I’m cruising through it. Promise.”

“Well don’t cruise too fast…before I know it you’ll be graduating and getting a real job and getting engaged…it’ll make me feel old, you know?”

“You could never be old, Morisuke!” Lev complimented obnoxiously, though it made his husband smile a bit. His large hand was still slapped away when he tried reaching for a fresh bun. “Besides—Kuroo likes to take things slow, right?”

“Yeah, sure, Dad.” Tetsurou shrugged much too innocently.

“So, um…” Suga began slowly, shutting the fridge door so he could look at his nephew seriously. “How are things with Daishou-chan going?”

“Great.”

“Good, good! …So…you two seem to get along relatively well.”

“We do bicker a lot, but we’ve grown on each other since high school,” Kuroo explained carefully, knowing Suga was close with his mom and would decode his answers later in private. “We’re on the same volleyball team and everything, so we kinda had to be friendly acquaintances from the start, you know?”

“I take it you two aren’t disgusted by each other’s existences anymore, then?” Yaku questioned.

“Sometimes,” The middle blocker frowned, remembering Suguru’s pet snake. “But not as often as before.”

“Hm…”

Suga and Yaku tried to be secretive with their glance towards each other, but Kuroo was looking for this and called them out, even though _he_ was the one being secretive.

“What was that?”

“What was what, dear?” Morisuke cocked his head.

“That look you two just gave each other!”

“I didn’t give a look,” Suga tried to lie.

“Did so, I saw it!” Kuroo claimed.

“No fighting in the kitchen!” Lev interrupted, sticking his bare arm in the oven to check on the temperature of the turkey and ham. “ _Ow_ , that’s _hot_!”

“TETSUROU-CHAN!!!!!”

Kuroo couldn’t help but smile as his aunt Alisa came strolling in like a supermodel, immediately pulling him into a hug with her long noodle arms; he always loved when she babied him, even though he was in college now.

“Wow, _look_ at you!” Alisa complimented, looking her nephew over with bright eyes. “You’ve gotten so mature since leaving for college!” She hugged him again, and Kuroo felt like the luckiest man in the world. “You need to come home more often!”

“So does your husband,” Lev mumbled, earning himself a kick from Yaku right in the ass.

“Aone is always home, thank you very much,” His older sister rolled her eyes. Just as the Russians began arguing with each other about when Thanksgiving clap backs were appropriate, Suguru returned to the kitchen holding his roommate’s phone by his side; his face seemed ghostly white, and his usually narrow eyes were blown wide with some kind of shock. Kuroo didn’t even notice him until his phone was being blankly handed to him.

“Good, you found it!” Tetsurou nodded in approval, still not noticing the horrified expression of Daishou.

“Ooooo, is this him?!” Alisa cheered excitedly, hopping back over to hover beside Suguru, whose anxiety rose another ten-levels upon being so close to this breathtaking creature. “I’m Alisa, Lev’s sister! It’s so great to meet you!”

Kuroo wondered if he should have warned his roomie about the hot women on his side of the family, too; Suguru looked like he was ready to pass-out when Alisa backed away from him to run after her own children who were sprinting through the kitchen. Tetsurou was busy scrolling through his photos looking for a specific one for Yaku-san when the snake beside him suddenly latched onto his forearm and yanked him close enough where he could just barely hear the hiss of shock and anger slipping from Suguru’s lips.

 

“Kuroo,” Daishou whispered, voice now void of emotion. “Why is your lock screen a photoshopped picture of us… _k-kissing_?”

 

Suguru wish he hadn’t accidentally hit the home button on Kuroo’s phone when wrangling it out of the coat pocket; what he saw made him drop the phone three different times, but each time he picked the object up again, the lock screen photo remained the same. He didn’t know where in the actual _hell_ Kuroo had found that picture of him making kissy lips, he didn’t understand why the _hell_ Kuroo had photoshopped himself beside Suguru so it looked as if they were inches away from _kissing each other_ —

“Dinner’s ready!” Yaku announced. “Everyone get washed-up and head to the table!”

While the entire family was distracted, Tetsurou hurriedly grabbed Daishou and pulled him down a dark inhabited hallway where no one else could hear their conversation; he looked around just to make certain none of the kids were eavesdropping before he addressed the current dilemma. Suguru still looked deathly ill, so it was urgent that Kuroo tell him what the hell was going on before people (his mom) started asking intense questions. Maybe he should have told Suguru a few days ago…that might have worked out better.

“Don’t freak out, okay?” Kuroo had the audacity to say. Judging on his roommate’s expression, he guessed they were a little past that point. “But…I _may_ have told my family we were…I told them that we’re dating to out-do Ushijima.”

Daishou’s mouth dropped open, utterly speechless as his grip on the cat man’s wrist tightened.

“Um…that hurts, Suguru. Could you, like…okay, _OW_ —let go, your nails are _sharp_!”

Kuroo pried the snake’s hand off his arm, rubbing it tenderly before quickly apologizing, hearing the family all gathering in the dining room for dinner. They didn’t have much time to get on the same page, so if Suguru didn’t cooperate, Tetsurou was dead meat, and his stupid cousin would win “best child of the year” award for the twentieth year in a row.

“Look, Daishou-chan—I’m sorry I lied, okay? But Ushijima was bringing home Tendou, and I knew if I didn’t bring someone home as well my grandpa Washijo would start ranting about how perfect Ushijima was compared to me _again_! Do you know how degrading it is to listen to your grandpa say that? It hurts! I’m sick of it! I had my little brother Kenma photoshop those pictures as proof of our relationship, so if you could just… _pretend_ to be madly in love with me for one day, I would be forever in your debt. Please, Suguru?!”

The snake didn’t look like he had been convinced, crossing his arms and putting his lips out in an angry pout as he glared a hole through Kuroo’s head; his “boyfriend” dropped to his knees in a pleading stance, looking up with wide, hopeful hazel eyes. It was both pathetic and a bit endearing. But mostly pathetic.

“Please, Suguru, _please_?!” He whimpered.

A tense silence hung over the pair as Daishou quickly thought things over—at his Thanksgiving, his entire family thought they were dating. If they could act like a couple without doing anything special, they could probably pull this off, right? It was a little offensive knowing their overall auras read totally homosexual, but…if Kuroo was in his debt, Suguru could really use that to his advantage. He didn’t really get into trouble (he had no friends, in other words), but someday, if something were to happen, it was comforting that he now had someone to blame, all because Kuroo wanted to show-off and defeat Ushijima once and for all. While Suguru still didn’t think that was possible, he nodded.

“Since you behaved well at my Thanksgiving…” The snake sighed deeply. “I _guess_ I can play along just this once.”

“ _Yes_!!! Thank you, boyfriend, thank you!”

“Do _not_ call me that when we’re alone.”

“Okay, okay, so here’s the plan,” Tetsurou said, standing up and straightening their appearance. “We don’t have to act any differently from usual, just once in a while smile at me or nudge me playfully; I’ll take the lead, and if anyone asks you questions, I’ll go from your answer. Got it, babe?”

“I will wrap my legs around your neck and _suffocate_ you like a python if you call me that _one more time_ ,” Daishou hissed violently.

“Fine, fine, no pet names—but call me Tetsurou in front of them, okay?”

Kuroo ignored his roommate’s growl and tugged him along as they pranced out into the living room, where chaos was already erupting within the family; the kid’s table was going wild, Hinata arguing over where he wanted to sit, Yamaguchi trying to dodge his flailing arms, Inuoka trying to find a place where his knees wouldn’t hit the short table, Narita couldn’t find his fork, Kinoshita had gum stuck in his hair, Teshiro was crying for an undetermined reason, and the famous uncle Taketora was trying to calm them all down, to no avail. Yaku and Suga were dodging other family members while trying to set the food bowls on the table, their husbands not helping by getting into an argument over who would win in an arm-wrestling contest…Suguru felt like throwing up, and they hadn’t even sat down yet. Kuroo seemed more at-ease in this setting, leading his boyfriend through the maze of people so they could sit down between Bokuto and a long-haired teenage boy very into his video game.

“Kenma, buddy, how are you?!” Tetsurou greeted, ruffling the boy’s hair up wildly. “Shib-sib, how goes it?”

“Hey, Kuroo!” His youngest brother said on the other side of Bokuto to Daishou’s left. “Hi, Suguru-san!”

“Hello.” The snake squeaked. Bokuto snorted beside him.

“So that’s the boyfriend, huh?” Kuroo mumbled, glaring across the table where Ushijima sat beside a skinny, spikey red haired boy. “What a noob!”

“His name’s Tendou,” Kenma informed him quietly, voice like a whisper behind the rest of the table clutter. “He plays volleyball, too.”

“Damnit—Daishou, I hope you brought some sneakers, caus’ we’re totally challenging them to a game later tonight.”

“Everyone sit down, please!” Yaku called, ushering his brother Kai to a spot next to his husband Shohei. “Are the kids all seated?”

“Well,” Taketora groaned as Hinata yanked on his mow-hawk out of anger. “I wouldn’t say _seated_ —”

“Daichi, go talk to Shouyou, please,” Suga sighed, setting down the last of the food.

“Dad, where do you hide the wine, exactly?” Lev asked Yaku’s father, glancing around the living room.

“Oh, there’s alcohol _everywhere_ in this house.”

“Dad!” Yaku scolded.

“I want wine!” Inuoka shouted from the kids table.

“Yeah yeah, me too, I want _red_ wine!” Hinata demanded. All the children joined in on a chant, pounding their mini glasses against the table.

“ _Wine, wine, wine, wine!_ ”

Daichi went over to scold his children and calm them down as everyone else _finally_ got settled at the table; Bokuto was suspiciously quiet beside Suguru, and Ushijima was having a staring contest with his black-haired cousin, much to Yaku’s concern. Nekomata was half-drunk already, Daishou was certain, but no one else seemed to notice.

“Okay…everyone _politely_ dig in.”

“Thanks for the food!”

“Good cooking, Yaku-san!”

“Mommy, mommy, I want turkey!”

“Narita, careful not to spill!”

“Pass the potates, please.”

“What the hell is a potate?”

“Language!”

Suguru tried to zone everyone out as he scooped food onto his plate, planning to eat until he could no longer move or play volleyball; Kuroo seemed to notice how high his “boyfriend’s” plate was getting, because he nudged him a little and leaned over to whisper.

“Umm…you okay, Dai? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you finish such a big meal before…”

“I’m anxious and stressed, give me a break,” Suguru mumbled, grabbing a second plate for a large scoopful of mashed potatoes.

“Okay, well…you don’t really wanna gain weight over the break, do you? You’re a pretty thin guy, I don’t want to see you explode or anything…”

“Dude, you are _so_ in the dog house right now!” Bokuto laughed over a bite of his ham.

“Huh?”

“You just insulted your boyfriend’s weight _to his face_! You’ve gotta be high or something, no man in his right mind would do that otherwise.”

“No one at this table better be high on _anything_ ,” Yaku warned darkly.

“Just kidding, Yaku-san!”

Suguru’s face was already hot from the mention of their relationship status, and once he began eating and drinking wine (which someone had accidentally poured in his glass instead of Yaku’s), he was pretty sure this night was not going to end well for him. Somehow he would simultaneously gain ten pounds and expose the true nature of his relationship with his roommate—Daishou tried keeping to himself, only answering questions when Yaku himself asked, only looking up when he heard screaming from the kids table. So far Hinata had spilled four times, Teshiro twice, Yamaguchi once, and Inuoka managed to sneak them an entire wine bottle before Daichi snatched it away, scolding his kids again before finally leaving his spot at the adult table to find a place at the children’s one as a bodyguard.

“I really gotta get to one of your volleyball games this season, Kuroo,” Lev mentioned with guilt. “I haven’t seen one yet this entire year!”

“That’s okay, Dad, we haven’t had much competition lately.”

“Ah, but I should still be there for support…”

“Taketora, aren’t you coaching middle school volleyball in Nekoma?” Alisa questioned her brother in law.

“Yeah! Those kids are great, I love getting them all pumped up about volleyball.”

“We’re glad you love volleyball, too, Daishou.” Suga nodded at him.

“Of course he loves volleyball,” Nekomata smiled. “He’s in the Ukai family, after all! Those bastards and I have been battling for years.”

“ _Language_ , Dad.”

“Ah, well, technically, they’re not…blood related, Grandpa.” Kuroo explained lightly, giving Suguru a look. “Ukai is just his step-dad.”

“What’s your point?” Lev mumbled over his food. “They can still bond over volleyball, can’t they?”

“Uh…”

Tetsurou gave his boyfriend a panicked look, only for the snake boy to have a calm expression on his face as he nodded.

“Yes; Keishin and I talk of volleyball often,” Daishou explained evenly. “It’s one of our favorite subjects.”

“Good to hear!”

Kuroo gave Suguru a sly smile as they returned to their meal.

“Shibayama, how’s school going?” Kai asked his nephew.

“P-Pretty good!” Shibayama nodded happily. “Kenma’s been helping me with my math homework…I was starting to fall behind a little bit because of volleyball and all, but I’m caught-up now!”

“I can help, too, Shib,” Tetsurou told his younger brother. “I am an astrophysicist in training, after all.”

The conversation was flowing well enough, avoiding any _too_ awkward of topics, but the second Washijo opened his dry lips, his grandson knew hell was about to break loose.

“How long have you two been going out, Wakatoshi?” Washijo asked loudly, making Kuroo grit his teeth. To help keep his cool, Suguru assured him he was still in on the plan by putting a hand on his knee under the table. If he had to testify under oath, he would lie and say it never happened.

“Three months.” Ushijima answered blankly as Tendou nodded with a grin.

“Despite your busy volleyball schedule, you still find time for each other?”

“Yeah, totally!” The red-head assured him.

“Suguru and I have been dating for _five_ -months,” Kuroo blurted out proudly.

“Wow, it’s really been that long?” Yaku hummed in pleasant surprise. “You two must have really matured in high school, considering how much you hated each other back then…”

“Oh yeah,” Daishou nodded quickly. Did he sound as awkward as he thought he did? Wait, what had he just agreed to—was it the hate part or the growing part? “We still have a love-hate relationship sometimes, but um…we’ve really grown together as roommates.”

“Lucky,” Bokuto mumbled into his cup.

“Lucky about what, Bokuto?” Alisa questioned her son.

“Kuroo and Daishou, sittin in a tree!” Hinata sang, getting Yamaguchi to join in on the second verse. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“Uh—I—I meant about…them being roommates and all,” The owlish student explained, making Suguru wince. He knew where _this_ conversation was headed... “I wish I got to room with _my_ girlfriend.”

“You don’t have a girlfriend,” Aone spoke-up lowly, getting a few snorting laughs out of his relatives.

“W-Well if I did, I would want to be roommate with her so we coul—”

Suga kicked his nephew underneath the table, but the innuendo of sex had already been realized by, of course, Kuroo’s parents, who set their glasses down as terrible thoughts ran through their heads. Yaku’s look was terrifying, and Suguru shrunk in his chair. Fucking crazy grandpa Washijo—why did he have to bring the subject of dating up?!

“…I forgot you two are roommates,” Morisuke said slowly. “So…you have lots of time to yourself, huh?”

“It’s not like that, Mom!” Kuroo laughed nervously. He remembered seeing Tendou’s tongue ring and rethought his strategy, though it was carried out poorly. He just couldn’t lose to Ushijima, no matter the subject, awkwardness be damned. “I mean…yeah! We _do_ have lots of intimate moments, as roommates and each other’s significant other, but we don’t like…we aren’t sex maniacs or anything.”

“Oh my god,” Nekomata’s wife whispered, crossing herself. Suguru guzzled more wine, hoping he could hide behind the glass.

“Is this your sly way of telling us you have _AIDS_ , Kuroo?” Taketora just had to question.

“ _What_? No! No no no!”

“I trust you two practice safe sex, Ushijima?” Washijo coughed.

“Of course.” Wakatoshi nodded firmly. “On the occasion we become intimate, we are always sure to use—”

“I’ve heard enough, thank you!” Lev screeched, silencing the table. “Just tell us straight-forward, Tetsurou—”

“Straight is the _last_ thing he is…”

Kai reached around Shibayama and slapped Bokuto on the head as Suguru shrunk further down into his chair, almost underneath the table at this point. Why oh why did he have to agree to act as a fake boyfriend?

“Tetsurou,” Lev said seriously, looking at his eldest. “…Are you two friends with benefits?”

“NO! Of course not!” Kuroo squeaked loudly. “We’re in love!!! Right, Daishou-chan?!”

“… _Painfully_ in love,” Suguru whimpered, hiding his face.

“Yeah! We love each other so much it’s _painful_!”

“Sounds rough,” Kenma mumbled.

“But we’re not here to talk about me and Suguru’s sex life—” Tetsurou groaned in agony as his lover kicked him hard under the table. “So let’s all shut-up and enjoy this beautiful meal my beautiful mother made for us, okay?”

“Actually,” Yaku said, setting his wine glass down. “I’d very much like to know if my son is sexually active or not. Daichi, make sure the kids aren’t listening to this.”

Daichi sensed Yaku’s aura and immediately distracted the children’s table. Kuroo swallowed nervously as Shibayama was almost dry heaving from how frightened he was by his mother’s expression as he leaned his elbows on the table and looked darkly between Suguru and his eldest.

“Do you at least use protection when you two go on these fling weekends together, all cooped-up in your dorm room with no interruptions?”

“Dear Lord,” Kuroo sighed, slamming his head onto the table. “Would someone please, _please_ change the subject?”

“You’re the one who brought it up, cat boy!” Bokuto accused.

“I so did _not_!!! That crazy bastard over there was the one who tried flaunting Waka-chan’s boyfriend!”

“Ha! Crazy old bastard is right!” Nekomata laughed, nudging Washijo in the arm as the eagle’s expression darkened further.

“Don’t blame grandpa for your sexuality!” Koutarou shouted at his cousin while reaching for the gravy bowl.

“Bokuto— _shut.up_.”

“You shut up!”

“You shut up first!”

“Why are you always so mean?!”

“Why are you always on your knees?!”

In an instant, Bokuto’s hand released its hold on the gravy bowl handle, causing the entire object to fall directly onto Shibayama’s lap, hot, thick gravy splattering _everywhere_. Alisa shrieked with surprise as everyone else’s mouths fell open, save Daishou, who had covered his eyes upon seeing the gravy bowl falling; tears immediately welled-up in Shibayama’s dark eyes as he lifted his hands up, seeing his entire outfit stained and dripping with gravy onto the carpet below.

“Haha!” Hinata laughed, breaking the silence. “Now we can eat _Shibayama_!!!”

“Get some napkins, Kai!” Yaku ordered, hurrying over to his tearful youngest son. “It’s okay, Shibayama, it’s okay!”

“Look what you did, Bokuto,” Kuroo snapped, glaring over Suguru. “You spilled on my baby brother!”

“I have _never_ been on my knees, thank you very much!” The owlish boy squeaked. “I prefer being on top, which is more than I can say about you!”

“If you two keep this up we’ll have to send you outside to settle things,” Suga warned with a deep sigh. “Shib, there’s a few already wet rags in the kitchen—you can use those to clean up.”

“O-O-Okay…”

“Sorry, Yuki.” Bokuto mumbled with shame.

“Sorry…”

“Let’s just get you changed, Shibayama—we’ll be having a talk when I get back, you two,” Yaku glared as he ushered his son out of the room. Silence hung over the table for a long minute, broken by giggles at the kids table; Hinata whispered something in Inuoka’s ear, getting him to giggle, and the whisper went all around the table (excluding Daichi) until they were all secretly laughing to themselves about something or other.

“Hey, what’s so funny?” Daichi asked, looking between the children. “Hinata, what did you say?”

“Nothing!”

“So…why don’t we talk about school?” Taketora coughed. “Um…Tendou, is it? What are you majoring in?”

“I’m studying to be a psychiatric nurse,” The red-head explained. “I’m struggling in the chemistry department, though.”

“I will _gladly_ help you out if you need it, Tendou-kun,” Kuroo offered kindly. “I am a master of all things with numbers.”

“I actually heard a rumor that your math grade is struggling this semester,” Ushijima replied casually.

“Like those buttons holding your shirt together?”

“Kuroo!” Suga shrieked. Daichi laughed at the kids table, attempting to hide it behind his hand.

“…My shirt is large enough where my stomach does not—”

“I was being _rhetorical_ , dumbass,” Tetsurou sighed deeply, rubbing his face as his boyfriend poured another glass of wine while no one was watching. “By the way, are you and Tendou _actually_ dating? You don’t seem like the gay type to me.”

“I did not know there was a certain appearance I must keep for being sexually and emotionally attracted to boys.” Wakatoshi said thoughtfully. “Why was I not told about this, Tendou?”

“Depending on your significant other is not a sign of a positive relationship,” Kuroo tsked his cousin while taking a bite of his food. “I would work on that if I were you. My _hair_ is probably healthier than your relationship.”

“At least his hair doesn’t look like it belongs under a dick,” Bokuto stuck his tongue out at Tetsurou. Asahi was close to fainting on the other side of the table.

“At least my pubes aren’t receding.”

“When are you two going to start having kids, then, Kuroo?” Kai asked with annoyance.

“When you are and Shohei going to _stop_ having kids, Kai?”

“Jeez, college kids are so _snarky_ these days!” Lev interjected. “Just be quiet and eat!”

“I’m sure it doesn’t matter when Daishou and I have children,” His son continued anyway. “As soon as precious _Ushijima_ has one, ours will be burned off the family tree!”

“That’s not true, Kuroo, and you know it.” Alisa said. “Honestly, Asahi is our favorite child—”

“Hey!!!” Bokuto wailed. “What about me?!!!! Aren’t I a good kid, Mommy?!”

“Of course, dear Koutarou, but Asahi causes the least amount of trouble! From a parental standpoint, he’s a perfect child. Sorry, Wakatoshi.”

“None taken.”

Washijo went to open his mouth, but Kuroo had enough of his shit and cut him off right away.

“Don’t even _start_ with us, Grandpa,” Tetsurou snapped.

“Ha!” Daishou laughed loudly, still sipping from his almost empty wine glass. Again. “Gramps…”

“I would like to go one family gathering without being compared to his highness Ushijima—is that really too much to ask for?!”

“Kinda, yeah.” Lev shrugged. “Grandpa really thinks he has poten—”

“That.is.IT!”

Kuroo threw his chair back and stood up proudly, pointing directly at his least favorite cousin from across the table.

 

“Ushijima Wakatoshi!” He shouted. “I challenge you to the 17th annual Thanksgiving wrestling match!!!”

 

“Yes yes yes yes!” The children chanted, beating on the table again.

“This year, we are fighting for our honor, and the honor of our beloved boyfriends!” Tetsurou proclaimed. “We’ll meet outside in exactly fifteen-minutes—break!”

“ _Yes yes yes yes yes!_ ”

“Come on, Daishou,” Kuroo scoffed, throwing his napkin on the table. “Let’s go get ready.”

When Tetsurou lightly grabbed Suguru’s arm, he was surprised to find his boyfriend almost totally limp in his chair, eyes drooping as he licked up what was left of the red wine in his glass. His snakish eyes had a hazy filter over their dark color, and it seemed like he was losing his grip on reality.

“Mmfmm…” Daishou groaned, swatting Kuroo’s hand away.

“Dude…are you _wasted_? How did you do that so quickly?!” He whispered, heaving the snake upwards. “Get up!”

“Mmm…yummy.”

Suguru snatched another full red wine bottle off the table as Kuroo dragged him out of the house and onto the front lawn, where he lightly dropped his beloved boyfriend off on the front steps before stretching out his muscles in preparation for he and Ushijima’s wrestling challenge. Wakatoshi had a five-year winning streak going on, and Kuroo was more determined than ever to beat his ass into the ground; Bokuto almost managed to squeak out a win last year with his stamina, but Ushijima gave one final surge of power and ended-up nearly breaking his brother’s left arm. This time, Kuroo had rage and a boyfriend on his side. That was more than he ever had before, so Tetsurou was pumped and ready for victory and sweet, sweet revenge. He couldn’t wait to tell Washijo to suck it.

“What’s taking that bastard so long?” Kuroo wondered out-loud as he stretched, Suguru still downing wine like no tomorrow. “We haven’t got all day!”

“Tetsurou,” Lev groaned as he and the rest of the family piled outside, brushing past Daishou. “Is this _really_ necessary?”

“Yes!”

“I can’t believe this is what I have to rely on for entertainment…” Kenma mumbled under his breath.

“Where’s that coward at? I wanna finish this quickly so we can get back to eating.”

“Roast him, Kuroo!” Hinata yelled, running outside with his noise makers, brothers tagging along behind him. “Let’s go, let’s go!”

The unamused family members all gathered around in a circle, some shaking their heads as Kuroo stretched his arms and legs, expression fierce and prepared for a smackdown; Ushijima came sauntering down the steps with Tendou trailing behind him ten-minutes later, taking his fancy sweater off to show off his biceps. Kuroo did the same, only his white t-shirt was stained with food and thus, less intimidating, but someone swore they heard a very intoxicated Suguru whistle at the sight from where he sat on the front steps.

“Go on in, Ushi,” Bokuto motioned, patting his brother’s back and sticking his tongue out at Kuroo, whose mouth dropped open. “Make sure you stick to the left side—that’s Kuroo’s weak spot. He’ll fold immediately.”

“How dare you!”

“How dare _you_!”

“You’re dead to me, Bokuto Koutarou,” Tetsurou spat. He looked around and spotted Asahi, yanking the unwilling young man into the circle by his side. “I’m stealing Asahi, then. He’s on _my_ side, now!”

“I-I really don’t want to choose sides…” Asahi stuttered with concern.

“I’ll show you, Ushi-waka! And your little dog, too!”

Ushijima’s eyebrows raised in confusion at that reference, and Tendou shrugged beside him. Hinata had lined the children up in a cheering section, Yamaguchi waving pom-poms and Inuoka stomping as hard as he could, Narita and the other cousins focusing on screaming the cheers as loudly as possible.

“GO GO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!!! NEKO, NEKO, NEKO!!!”

“What the HELL is going on here?!” Yaku shouted, hurrying outside as Ushijima and Kuroo got into crouching positions. “Kuroo!!! What are you doing?!”

“Fighting for my honor, Mom!” Tetsurou hollered back. Suguru managed to stumble his way over to the circle, leaning on Yaku’s short stature for support.

“Kick his _ass_ , babeeee!” Daishou screamed cheerfully.

“I love you, Suguru!”

“Haha…love _you_ …”

“Opponents ready?!” Bokuto called, looking between Ushijima and his cousin.

“Ready!”

“Ready.”

“No kicking, no biting, no spitting, no humping!”

“Come on, Kuroo!” Daichi cheered, getting a kick from his husband.

“Let’s go, miracle boy!” Tendou grinned.

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Taketora groaned, none the less clapping with the cheering section.

“Ready? …Annnnnnd… _WRESTLE_!!!!”

Kuroo gave a loud war cry and hurried forward, tackling Ushijima to the ground in a surprising wave of strength; if any other family had been looking out their window, they would have only seen the Kuroo family gathered around in a circle cheering about nothing and a pretty wasted college student stumbling around the outside of the circle trying to make his way in. Nekomata was making bets on the side with Washijo, who was looking forward to a pitiful defeat on his shorter grandson’s side; Yaku wanted to step in, but didn’t want to get trampled to death, and so remained by his husband’s side as everyone else took sides, screaming and chanting as the wrestling match went on.

“Is that all you got, fat boy?!” Kuroo yelled as Ushijima wrapped an arm around his waist, readying to throw him over and pin. “Daishou’s pushed me down harder than that!”

“Hell yeah!” Suguru cackled, though he hadn’t heard what Tetsurou said. “Goooo KUROOOO!!!” He shouted while waving his empty wine glass in the air. Hinata screamed happily at this gesture of competitiveness and jumped at Daishou, nearly knocking him over like a baby deer. Kuroo refused to let Ushijima get a hold on him, managing to squirm out of his grip and slide across the grass—he threw a leg around his cousin’s neck, pulling the large student a good distance before settling the pose by locking together his knees.

“What the hell are you doing, Ushi?!” Bokuto cried in agony. “Rip his ass!!!”

“That’s what he said,” Suguru giggled like a schoolgirl.

“LET’S GO, LET’S GO!!!!”

Ushijima grabbed onto Kuroo’s legs, forcing them apart and flipping his body over almost effortlessly, though Kuroo managed to stick a knee up and prevent his cousin from fully pinning him. Someone wolf-whistled (probably Suguru, who had drool on his fingers) as Wakatoshi hovered, large hands grabbing onto Tetsurou’s shoulders as he laid beneath him.

“I bet this is the first time you’ve topped, huh?” Tetsurou groaned under the weight.

“Topped what?” Ushijima huffed, not understanding.

“Quit humping and wrestle already!” Bokuto ordered, getting a swat and a hiss from his mother.

“Bokuto Koutarou, you are grounded when we get home.”

“But Mom!!!”

“FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!”

“Hinata!” Suga scowled. “You’re so _naughty_ today!”

“TETSUROUUUUUU!”

Everyone, including the two cousins wrestling on the front lawn, stopped what they were doing to look over at Suguru, who had dropped his wine bottle somewhere and was now looking totally sober as his widened eyes stared down at his fake boyfriend with excitement. His fists were clenched intensely, and Kuroo felt all air exit his mouth when that expression glowed in his direction. It reminded him of volleyball, when he and Suguru would forget about their dislike of each other and just _play_ —when they would high-five and hug and jump up and down in happiness after scoring a point or getting a block together.

“Kuroo!” Daishou addressed wildly. “You can _win_!!! I believe in you!!!”

“Awwwwwww!” The cheering section cried. Yaku covered his face and shook his head.

Kuroo had never had such a compliment from Suguru before; it affected him in a strange way, and as he glanced back up at Ushijima, a surge of unknown strength coursed through his veins. Using Daishou’s words of wisdom, Tetsurou latched onto his cousin’s brawny shoulders with a cat-like grip, using the leverage with his knee to push Wakatoshi off him enough where he could scramble out of the position. Bokuto hollered angrily, watching as Kuroo wrapped one leg up over Ushijima’s back, at the same time tucking his foot under the other’s right arm. Daishou jumped up and down happily, watching while Kuroo used this momentum to push himself up off his left leg—with all his might, the cat swept Wakatoshi’s right arm out from under him, preventing the larger cousin from holding himself up when Tetsurou heaved the remainder of his body onto Ushi’s backside.

“GO GO GO!”

“Pin him, Kuroo, pin him!”

“What’s going on?” Shibayama asked as he just now arrived at the scene.

“Kuroo’s winning!!!”

Washijo and the others on Ushijima’s side could only watch with horror as Kuroo forced Wakatoshi to lie flat on the grass, chest pressed against it firmly as Hinata broke apart from the cheering squad, diving into the circle for a final judgement—Tetsurou used all his might to hold Ushi down, Daishou holding his drunken breath while leaning against Yaku for support again.

“PINNED!” Hinata screamed, slamming his fist on the ground near Ushijima’s head. “WINNER: _KUROOOOO_!!!”

“YEAAAAAh!!!!!!”

“The streak is broken,” Kai announced without enthusiasm. “Can we go now?”

“BROOOOO!!!” Bokuto cheered, switching teams just like that and tackling Kuroo into a big hug when he stood. “YOU TOTALLY _BEAT_ WAKATOSHI!!!!!”

“I WON!!!!!!!”

“Yeet, Yeet!” Daishou yelped while jumping into their moving hug in the circle. Washijo was covering his face in agony as Nekomata laughed beside him, and Ushi himself was heaving himself upwards, a frown on his lips as Tendou hopped over cheerfully, still optimistic despite his boyfriend losing and breaking the streak.

“It’s okay, Wakatoshi!” Tendou said, patting the other’s head sympathetically. “There’s always next year!”

“I’ll have to start a new streak,” Ushijima nodded in confirmation while the family began recollecting themselves. “Will you be there next year to cheer me on?”

“I’ll have to check my calendar, but sure!”

Ushi almost smiled and stood beside his boyfriend, watching as Bokuto, Kuroo and Suguru hugged and shouted happily until their group was broken up by Alisa grabbing onto her middle son’s ear and tugging him away.

“Ow ow, _stop_ , Mom!” Koutarou cried, following after her steps.

“Aone will decide your punishment later,” Alisa said casually, tugging him along. “You can kiss your volleyball open gym goodbye.”

“Mom, no!”

“I am ready to have a glass of wine,” Yaku sighed deeply as Lev patted his head in comfort. “Maybe five or six, like Daishou…”

Speaking of Suguru, he and Kuroo were still dancing around on the front lawn together, not noticing the absence of Bokuto’s bulky arms as their hug slowed until they were simply swaying and laughing against each other. Most of the family was interested in this weird development and stayed to watch.

“You won, baby, you _won_!” Suguru giggled happily, arms around his “boyfriend’s” shoulders as he was spun around. Kuroo grinned back, but kind of lost his competitive touch when he noticed how close Daishou’s flushed face was to his, just like during volleyball games, when their hatred was lost, when their love for the game exposed their real respect for each other, when they didn’t really mind each other at all. It made him think of how willingly Suguru agreed to their holiday terms, eyes flickering with an emotion Kuroo couldn’t figure out, but it matched the glimmer he saw right now, when Daishou was smiling up at him so happily—

As if Tetsurou hadn’t caused enough drama throughout the day, he just had to yank Suguru towards him and lay a long kiss right on the drunk bastard’s lips.

“Damn kids and their homosexual tendencies,” Washijo grumbled.

“Ah, young love!” Nekomata countered.

When Kuroo pulled back with a shocked, dazed expression, he half expected Daishou to slap the hell out of him—instead, the wing spiker simply let his eyes flutter shut as his body sunk against Tetsurou’s. The wine had gotten to him, apparently. Kuroo sighed deeply, falling to the leaf covered ground with Suguru on his chest and a relieved, sleepy smile on his lips.

“Alright, I’ve seen quite enough,” Lev sighed, turning around to head back inside. “I’ll see you all in therapy.”

“Let’s go eat Shibayama!” Hinata cheered.

“Everyone come back in—we still have to finish dinner while it’s hot,” Suga ordered, nudging the sprinting children forward ahead of the group. “I have to say, this has been an eventful holiday.”

“I win the pot!” Nekomata laughed, holding his bag of yen as Washijo regretted his entire life’s work.

“Grandpa’s betting again!” Inuoka tattled.

“No no, Inuoka-chan, some of this is for your college fund! Here—go buy your way into a nice university.” He said, handing each of the boys a portion of his yen.

“You’re the best, grandpa!”

“Can we stop with all the noise?” Kenma mumbled to himself, following his parents inside. All the cheering and talking left with the herd of family members who had enough drama for the day, taking their noise makers and pom-poms with, leaving Kuroo and his wasted boyfriend sleeping on the front lawn. When the front door closed, the street became quiet once more, only the rustling of leaves and the whistling of the autumn wind audible to Kuroo’s ears as he sprawled out on the grass; Daishou stirred on his chest a few minutes later, wiping at his messy face in confusion. A groan escaped his lips, and Kuroo’s smile grew when Suguru finally leaned his head up and realized who he was lying on.

“Mmm…wha…why are we…outside?” The snake asked, rubbing an eye tiredly.

“You broke the record for fastest hangover. I beat Ushijima’s streak in our family wrestling contest—now we’re resting in the middle of the front lawn after I kissed you.” Kuroo explained. “Remember?”

“Oh…” Daishou thought things over, not stopping his roommate and fake boyfriend from petting his messy hair down with a gentle touch. “So that wasn’t a _dream_ …”

“Nope. Don’t worry, though, I won’t take advantage of your drunken state and throw you into my bed. Promise!”

Tetsurou chuckled lowly when Suguru groaned in agony and fell back onto the cat’s chest, snugly lying there for a few more quiet moments as the Kuroo family continued their meal inside. This had been quite the weekend adventure—neither boy certainly expected to have as many laughs and smiles as they did; there was an unexpected amount of hot women with large breasts, a strange measurement of heart-warming moments, and also a fair few intense minutes between family members. Suguru had come out once or twice, Kuroo unconsciously doing the same by kissing his fake boyfriend and wrestling for him…he had been right in telling Yaku they got along better than they did during high school. Sure, they didn’t actually go on dates and sleep together like Tetsurou claimed, but…he couldn’t deny there was something special going on between them. Maybe they didn’t know it, hadn’t felt the connection like everyone else did, but this adventure may have been the start of something nice.

Of course, Suguru just had to break-up their nice moment by mumbling under his breath.

“Still hate you.”

“Still hate _you_.”

Breathy laughs escaped both their lips, Suguru not moving from his warm position on Kuroo’s chest, even as the latter put an arm around his shoulder. He really wasn’t as drunk as he felt, still able to feel the warmth of the kiss from minutes before, the fuzzy, jittery feelings that coursed through his gut after the fact…

“Happy Thanksgiving, Kuroo.” Suguru said honestly.

“Yeah,” Tetsurou smiled. “Happy Thanksgiving, Daishou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love some friendly clapbacks from your least favorite relatives! THanks for reading!
> 
> bodhi_the_bird on insta and tumblr  
> kamiki_mermaid on wattpad


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